Squad Combat Leagues

With the squad combat leagues concluding, the winners from each division were:

Division 1: HammerFall (TheFireDragons)
Division 2: Team Ivory Wolves (Ivory Wolves)
Division 3: Even Death May Die (Joels Bastards, Longos Merry Men)
Division 4: The Merry Men and Their Drinking Buddies (Longos Merry Men, Joels Bastards)
Division 5: Team Crimson Wind (Crimson Wind)

Leader of the FireDragons, Charles 'Peterbuilt' Patton stands at the gates of SummerSet. The old WarWagon Ace's hands hardened and scarred clutches a pair of worn binoculars. This season went well he thinks to himself. Licking his dry lips he closes his eyes and once again thanks Lady Luck.

Rollovers Win Gateway Winter Meltdown League

The Gateway Winter Meltdown League finished, with Rollovers taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Sandrats, and finishing in third place overall were Joels Bastards.
Zoomity zoom zoom brummbrummbrumm loppplopploplopploppplopp.

Larry Grimes of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset.

Leroy Jenkins of Main Street died at The Pit.

Annie Stokes of Fyve Fynger Fiends died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

`The Midnight` Raven Black of Fyve Fynger Fiends died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Numbers Dvorak of Anubis Cartel died at Gates of Texan.

Jerome `Tree` Feller of Rollovers died at Gates of Somerset.

`Oh` Henry Wiens of Pole Dancers died at Gates of Somerset.

`Lieutenant` Scott Worrell of Pole Dancers died at Gateway Interstate Figure 8.

`Pussycat Man` James Zang of Pole Dancers died at Broken Hill.

Howard Hensley of THERAPISTS died at Acid Land.

Romona Parker of THERAPISTS died at Acid Land.

Alona Tankersley of Pole Dancers died at Once Upon a Town.

Lauren `Turtle Top` Dorsey of Pole Dancers died at Once Upon a Town.

Karen `Rabbits Foot` Jensen of Pole Dancers died at Once Upon a Town.

`The Venerable` Luis McDaniel of Pole Dancers died at Once Upon a Town.

Justin Williams of Signs died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.

Lane Harper of oaskddja died at Gates of Somerset.

`The little kn` Joe Thomas of Zaphod Beeblebrox died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

Maria Carey of Debian Rules died at Road to Somerset.

Willie Garcia of 2 Bullets and a Promise died at Gates of Somerset.

Jesse `Old Man` Holmstrom of Pole Dancers died at Gates of Somerset.

Josephine `Last Chance` Lachance of The Flying Circus died at Road to Elmsfield.

`Buckshot` Bill Kelliher of The Flying Circus died at Road to Elmsfield.

David `the Hammer` Schultz of The Flying Circus died at Road to Elmsfield.

Marshall `Lockdown` Lau of The Flying Circus died at Road to Elmsfield.

Tabatha `the Witch` Stephens of The Flying Circus died at Road to Elmsfield.

Michael Davis of Murphys Mercs died at Northern Farm Land.

Joann Thompson of Murphys Mercs died at Northern Farm Land.

`Randy` Randy Raposa of Hogs of Destiny died at Highway to Hell.

James Thacker of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Elmsfield.

Troy `Fixit` Haynes of Blood Roses died at Scattered Hills: Bridge Out.

Clarissa Wright of Interstate 82 died at Northern Farm Land.

Ruth Adkins of Interstate 82 died at Northern Farm Land.

Justin Click of Clan Hammer died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Michael Elam of Scarzams Sandmen died at Somerset Arena.

Ronnie Rush of Harrys Hippos died at Salt Flats Canyon.

`Comrade` David Manley of Harrys Hippos died at Salt Flats Canyon.

Edward Wimberly of Harrys Hippos died at Salt Flats Canyon.

Michael Snyder of DeathSquadB died at Once Upon a Town.

Charles Roane of DeathSquadB died at Once Upon a Town.

Richard Nichols of Avenged Sevenfold died at Salt Flats Canyon.

`Speedee` Kyle Gonzales of Exalted died at Smokey Hills.

Roger `Dakka Dakka` Berry of Monarchs died at Northern Farm Land.

Crystal Fletcher of Interstate 82 died at Highway to Hell.

Sandra Morgan of DWGs Most Hated died at Highway to Hell.

Vincent Carr of Rex Rillions Ringers RRR died at Highway to Hell.

Samuel Betts of The Black Legion died at Blown With the Wind.

Courtney ``Kali`` Yamashita of Murphys Mercs died at Road to Somerset.

Terry Wildman of oaskddja died at Northern Farm Land.

Alexa Bliss of oaskddja died at Northern Farm Land.

Keith Taylor of oaskddja died at Northern Farm Land.

Bonnie Link of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Edna Sipple of Debian Rules died at Gates of Somerset.

Roy McDougal of Raven Lunatics died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

James Bell of Raven Lunatics died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.

Eric Hopkins of oaskddja died at Once Upon a Town.

Jack `The Irish` Farmer of Bamboo Cutters died at Northern Farm Land.

`Sukki` Ma Dick of Bamboo Cutters died at Northern Farm Land.

Dennis `Firing Pin` Fuller of Scouse Syndicate died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.

Charles Smith of Rex Rillions Ringers RRR died at Pathway to Darkness.

Brett `Filter` Riley of Harrys Hippos died at Devils Fingers.

`Chairwoman` Rosa Lux of Harrys Hippos died at Devils Fingers.

David `Comrade` Sims of Harrys Hippos died at Devils Fingers.

Alexander Abel of Harrys Hippos died at Devils Fingers.

Lala La of Harrys Hippos died at Devils Fingers.

Joseph Freeman of oaskddja died at Forever Yellow Skies.

Dell Cole of Hogs of Destiny died at Somerset Super Speedway.

`Diamond` Dan Barstow of Hogs of Destiny died at Once Upon a Town.

`The Fearless` Samuel Swatzell of Pole Dancers died at Gates of Somerset.

`The Sick` Brian Rick of Fyve Fynger Fiends died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Leroy Jenkins of Romans Legion died at Northern Farm Land.

Julius `Ceasar`s` Johnson of Rollovers died at Northern Farm Land.

Elizabeth McCaslin of Jack In A Car died at Blown With the Wind.

John `WD40` Lockett of Jack In A Car died at Road to Somerset.

Randall `Ripper` Hopkins of Jack In A Car died at Road to Somerset.

Matthew `Cherry` Garcia of Zaphod Beeblebrox died at Gateway Interstate Circuit.

Thomas Billiot of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Once Upon a Town.

`Antsy` Nancy Engebretson of DWGs Most Hated died at The Dunes Race Course.

Richard Jacobs of Rex Rillions Ringers RRR died at Highway to Hell.

Adrian Sexton of Rex Rillions Ringers RRR died at Highway to Hell.

Stefanie Archer of Rex Rillions Ringers RRR died at Highway to Hell.

Russell Spain of rebelfish resurgent II died at Road to Somerset.

Krysten `JJ` Ritter of The Purple Foxes died at The Pit.

Melissa McCubbin of El Nubnubs died at Gates of Firelight.

Margaret Errico of El Nubnubs died at The Pit.

Jessica `Macho` Camacho of The Purple Foxes died at The Pit.

Emily `Sparks` Rickards of The Purple Foxes died at The Pit.

Marissa `MNM` Miller of The Purple Foxes died at The Pit.

Grisel Ulm of Unicorn Orgy died at Road to Somerset.

Lance Utterback of Unicorn Orgy died at Road to Somerset.

Gino Ladd of Unicorn Orgy died at Road to Somerset.

Lorena MacKinnon of Debian Rules died at Road to Elmsfield.

Charles `Manson` Jackson of Exalted died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

John `Jacob Jingle-` Wharton of Zaphod Beeblebrox died at Road to Somerset.

Linda `Listen` Lau of Zaphod Beeblebrox died at Road to Somerset.

Carl `Chaos` Eager of The Flying Circus died at Lost Trail: Broken Ground.

Darrell `Timmy` Turner of oaskddja died at Northern Farm Land.

Raul Horn of oaskddja died at Northern Farm Land.

Donald Thomas of The Trouser Attacks died at Lonesome Highway.

Scott Sweet of Romans Legion died at Road to Somerset.

Ronald Ricketts of Harrys Hippos died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.

Scott Player of Rex Rillions Ringers RRR died at Northern Farm Land.

Dong Swing of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Somerset.

Eric Rosario of pollo fuego died at Ring of Death Arena.

Jared Howard of pollo fuego died at Ring of Death Arena.

Kristina Byrns of THERAPISTS died at Gates of Somerset.

Scott Diggs of Fort Retard died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.

Stephen Williams of Melted Rubber died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.

Shirley Dowd of The Trouser Attacks died at Northern Farm Land.

George Graham of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Firelight.

Justin Ogles of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Firelight.

George Wood of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Firelight.

Lourdes Nickel of The Black Legion died at Acid Land.

Guadalupe Parker of Boars of Boozin died at Road to Somerset.

Michiko Chiang of Debian Rules died at Road to Somerset.

James Wong of NewbsClan died at The Pit.

Veronica Penn of NewbsClan died at The Pit.

Nikki `Knickers` Reed of The Purple Foxes died at Gates of Firelight.

Jennifer `Jensen` Winters of Yeeteam died at Somerset Rally Circuit.

Javier Holloway of Melted Rubber died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.

Virginia `Deadeye` Gardner of The Vanguards died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Michal `Micky` Clem of The Vanguards died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.

Danielle `DT` Thibodeaux of Womens Auxiliary Balloon Corps died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.

Carl Hunter of The Trouser Attacks died at Smokey Hills.


Chassis Wars: Phoenix v. Sunrise
(Editor's Note: We at the Gazette sent out our interns in an attempt to gather information about what chassis the gangs of Evan prefer to run. This is what happened)

The interns were told to approach the gangs and ask them the following question: 'If you could only have a Phoenix or a Sunrise, which would you run and why?'

The Responses:
Avenged Sevenfold: Hee He, one of the better drivers of Avenged Sevenfold, shouts out without hesitation "PHOENIX! I don't know about anybody else, but we in Avenged Sevenfold don't appreciate vehicles that bounce like a coked up jack rabbit."

A random ganger from The Vanguards : Phoenix. I have loads of them and they are my favourite muscle. Easy to drive, easy to steer onto an opponent's weak side and if they get banged up, well, easy to replace.

A random ganger from Machinegun Morons: Phoenix. Cheap as chips, Don't bounce at the sneeze of a mouse.

Waskal Wabbitz: Yan "Rushy" Rush of the Waskal Wabbits is stretching her lags after almost destroying her favorite Cougar in a rally, when she happens upon a lively, yet one-sided debate among fellow drivers on the street. "Is there even a question in the matter? I drove a Sunrise once as a gag just to see how bad the suspension really is and almost lost my lunch along with the race. The thing handles like a lopsided/ over-inflated beach ball, whereas the Pho sticks to the sand like glue. I'd still be ripping my old girl around if it hadn't gone Legendary and leader bean Boyd dint insist on having it stuffed and mounted."

Cestus Dei: Darcy "Love" Doll chimes in with "The bounciness of the sunny is a hoot if you're in the back seat....but other than that, helll naw...if you gotta go fight, get you a Pho if you wanna live" The rest of the nuns giggle.

Pole Dancers: Leon weighs in on the conversation."Only reason we'd keep a Sunrise around is if it has one of them Special Circumstances skins, like Patient Zero. He gestures at the aircraft painted car, with a 3LR, GG and a CR. She's a fine chaser in big group scouts. But I'm with the rest of Evan on this: A Sunrise is usually a Scorpion in the wild, and they deserve to die. Phos loot better, sell better, perform better. Any other dumb questions Old Man?"

Rollovers: "Hey Gramps, what is this... Soonrice them uwwers make noises about" Asks Luella, the Rollover krews new promising leader (mostly because none of the old farts can sit on the throne comfortable enough anymore). "Hrrrmmpohh gaga bleh frrhuuuttt *handshake* grumple" Answer the Rollover krews aging veterans old enough to ever have seen a Sunrise.

Blood Roses: "BOSS!" yells Double B. "**** is a Phoenix or Sunrise again?"

"Huh?" questions The Trickster; half asleep on the Blood Roses table at Dexters - the other half drunk on Somerset Special, a vicious mixer combining the local pumpkin liqour, sugar and boiled worm blood.

"...oh, those things. Peasant cars for peasant people in peasant gangs", she replies concluding with a yawn and pushing her hat down with a smirk starting to form.

Howls of laughter erupt from the table, slapping of knees and fists pounding the table.

"Don't forget the change!" shouts one of the only two young upstarts from the table. Suddenly an empty bottle flies across the bar, narrowly missing the Cestus Dei table and smashes into the wall, inches away from Gazette reporter.

Double B collaspes into a laughing fit on her chair and crashes onto the floor, tears flowing from her eyes and clutching her chest.

Rizon Oni: The Sixth and Grease think for a moment about it. Relatively speaking, both are veterans of the gang, The Sixth having been in the gang for a little longer than Grease. Grease answers first.

"Phoenix is what you want in most places. Easy to work on, parts everywhere. It punches above its weight, if you care to put something better than a 242 in it. Shame it won't cram a 300 or a 302 in. Unexposed of course; we don't like our junk flapping in the breeze."

The Sixth follows this up. "The Phoenix is the workhorse of Evan. Us Oni have used it for racing, have depended on it for our next meal, our next haul. From what I remember, a Phoenix is one of the first chassis we ever ordered built. They're even pretty good looking if you want them to be."

She points a blackened finger up. "However, we've used a Sunrise in the arena with moderate success, and I reckon with a rotary they'd be pretty mean. For the looks you'll get, you might as well have rolled in with a clown car, but it ain't stupid if it works."

Grease punctuates her words. "Ain't worth a ten toots of a tin trumpet on the racetrack though. Unless you enjoy losing."

Chaos Engineering: (Another day...)

"... so, Phoenix or Sunrise?"
The aging mutant looks down, thoughtfully, as if gathering his remaining strength to talk to roadkill, or a toad.
"You came over a hundred miles to our camp, right?"
"And you came right past all the camp defense, the cars with the guns, right?"
"..yea.. but.."
"And you walked right past the mechanic shops, right?"
"Of course, but.."
"Didya see everything that had four wheels and gave off greenhouse gases was a Phoenix?"
"Did you see even a car part from a Sunrise?"
"No, and.."
"Don't let the shop door hit you on the ass."

So there you have it, citizens of Evan. The Phoenix is the clear winner in the first part of our Chassis Wars series. Stay tuned for the next installment : Estate v. Carrier Van.


(Editor's Note: Once again, the interns were released into the wild to gather information on the various gang's opinions on chassis, this time two of the more maligned specimens, the Estate wagon or the Carrier Van. This is what happened. On a serious note, the interns have been sent for retraining in sensitivity and boundaries. The Gazette apologizes for the ones who were overzealous in thier pursuit of truth.)

Pole Dancers: *knock knock* *knock knock* Hey, Old Man, open up. The Old Man opens up the door a pinch, revealing a room full of inkwells and stacks of dated newspapers. "What?" Jill frowned. "Your stupid intern has been asking all kinds of stupid questions! Pho vs Sunny? Estate vs Carriervan? We all the know the answers to these questions. The Old Man disappears, only to reappear a moment later with a pen and pad. "And your opinion?", He cackles, grabbing his quill and dipping it in a nearby well. "My opinion," Jill shouts at the Old Man from about half an inch,"Is that your intern needs to get his **** chewed off! Also, Carrier Vans."

Renshai: A shadow passes in front of the window. Carl looks up from his ledger, swearing to himself that he has seen it a few times already. Curiosity gets the better of him and he heads to the window to see what is going on. His face screws up in confusion as he calls into the walkie.
"Why is there a random kid wandering around the boneyard out back?" he bellows.
"Uh, that's an intern from the Gazette. Keeps coming over wondering what we prefer - this or that. Was Estates and Carriers this time." Melvin's reply crackles back. "I told him to look out in the boneyard to find you and ask."
Carl grins a little. "How long do you plan on letting him roam around before you tell him I am not there?"
"Well, sir, the last one looked all day." Melvin laughs, "Figured this one might look longer. We will let you know when they ask something worth answering."

Waskal Wabbitz: Yan Rush walks away from the reporter shaking her head and giggling. "Who would drive either of those deathtraps?"
David blushes and rubs the red hand print off his face. "I don't do much driving but I DO enjoy shooting both of em, the vans make a bigger BOOM tho heh heh."

Avenged Sevenfold: Wincing from the screaming, Elizabeth Neidig comes up behind Jill, huffing and puffing from dragging her prey- a bruised and bloody intern of the Old Man. Liz stares at Jill until the shouting is over and she finally turns around to see Liz. With a cross look on her face, Liz exclaims "This little creep came straight into the women's bathroom at Dexter's and slid his head under the stall door asking me if I prefer Estates or Vans?!" Recalling the situation infuriates her all over again and she releases the collar of the young man and kicks him in the jaw.
The Old Man comes rushing back to the door after Jill's shouting - *crash, thump, clash* - and he shoots his head out of the doggy door with a ####-eating grin.... "Well, boy, did you get an answer before she got to you?!"
Liz grits her teeth, lifts the intern into the air by his collar and belt and hurls him at the Old Man. Upon impact, as he loses all air in his lungs, he quietly exhales "carrier va-" and passes out.

Rizon Oni: The Sixth smiles. "Estate. There's an old joke... or maybe legend, who knows. We've been trying to drop a rotary in an Estate for years now and go embarrass muscle cars in the rallies. We've either had one or the other or neither."
Grease, again, punctuates her words. "We prefer Pickups for whatever a Carrier Van or Estate would do for anyone else, but we'd take an Estate given the choice. Carrier Vans drive around like a box on ice- fun, maybe, but a box on ice won't protect your cargo."

Cestus Dei: Maurice shouts from behind the door "I done seen his dumb ass coming up the front, all bloody and stuff from asking stupid questions...you just tell him that the only damned good thing about a carrier van is ya can put a wizard paintjob on it so you can look cool when you die. don't bother me with this nonsense..."

A random ganger from PA Racers: I guess you haven't seen my racing estate in action yet?

Blood Roses: (Edited for space) The stranger blinks slowly and pauses for what seems like a lifetime to utter one brief sentence. "Carrier Van...or Estate". A violent coughing fit follows with a buckshot of blood making it's way close the concrete floor.
"Oh you're the creep at Dexters I heard about."
(The full story is available elsewhere but due to space limitations we had to edit. Apologies)
Twitch pauses and makes eye contact with the stranger, the pen still not made contact with the paper.
"ESTATES!" Twitch shouts, flies her hands in the air and turns to lower the garage door.

Chaos Engineering: (Editor's note: We here at the Gazette can neither confirm nor deny the existence of telepaths among the mutants of Chaos Engineering. We just report what we witness.)
(Port Royal, at the bar)
"Boy, you don't give up, do you?"
"I just c..."
"I got ears and eyes, I know why you're here."
"So, Estate or Cargo Van."
"Have you heard the difference between trade secrets and a hole in the floor?"
Just then, glitteringly clear thought came through to everyone in the bar. It intoned, "You should tell him about the time one of the Angels outran a v8 Buccaneer with our beat-to-$#!% cargo Estate."
"Can you read minds?"
"Yes!" the thought rang out. Some people closest to the thought's owner winced.
"Can you read my mind?"
"You want me to shut up about eight-thousand dollar cars being able to outrun two-hundred thousand dollar cars?"
The older mutant turned toward the furiously scribbling reporter.
"Can you read my mind, now?"
"But if we wipe his mind we won't be famous, in the Gazette! Besides, that car outran lots of stuff in the Northern Triangle, even with a full stash!"
A full minute passed with the white-bearded mutant considering his leathery-skin-toned colored drink. His eyes squinted down before he quasi-nodded to himself, "Shouldn't you be in Elmsfield?"

Rollovers: "Bangalangawangdangdingdong Vans are the cream of the week!" Dong Waddle crackles through the Dexters' radio, high on his latest FL downhill record. "Hur hur long as he keeps sending that racing money he can keep his partybus down there, aint nobody drivin him home" the Rollovers krew chuckle around their table covered in empty bottles of Dexters finest Rotgut.

The final tally, good citizens once we seperate the violent and the incomprehensible out, is three votes for the Carrier Van and four votes for the Estate. The little wagon that could takes this round. Keep an eye out for our final installment in the Chassis Wars series: Apache v Landrunner.


Editor's Note: After the fiasco that was Estate v Carrier, the decision was made to stick to the serious chassis in Evan. So, without further ado, the interns were released after sensitivity training to go collect the required information.

"Apache or Landrunner. If you could only fight with one of them, which do you run and why?"

Here were the responses

Waskal Wabbitz: "Killer" Kendrick of the Wabbits begins to reminisce of the old days when he started running larger chassis against the scarier bad guys in Evan. "At first we were really hard pressed to find affordable Apache chassis around and needing something with some thicker armor than the good old Mercs and Phos, we bought a couple Landys to fend off the pirates. They had a thicker skin than the Apes but the instability in the suspension and smaller space for an engine made them harder to escape from danger and a lot more likely to flip from some heavy recoil. Once you start the death bounce from a couple recoil weaps hitting you while you fire back in the fray, you really lack that much needed control to keep from being gutted. Too many tense moments and close calls prompted us to sell those guys off to gangs that enjoyed using them and buy some Apaches. Even tho the armor is a bit thinner on the Ape the way you can move em with even just a 4L and keep your armor facings where you want em while taking fire is invaluable. They can turtle as well but the wider wheelbase and more relaxed suspension makes it less of an immediate threat and corrections are far easier to make in battle. I suppose we could have given Landrunners more of a chance, perhaps tweaked the suspension for some recoil trials, but by then we a couple decent trainer squads with Apaches and never looked back."

DWGs Most Hated: Rene would Chuckle "I've been told stories of a bad fight my gang once had, and since it had a landy, I feel like telling you." he pauses for a moment "to clear the basics, it was a 4v20+ in SS and there were 3 lorries at stake. they thought, "Do we flank around, demo the lorries, and eventually get them to want to flee? or do we truce?" the crazy leader we had at the time decided for himself, "fend off the brute of it somehow and then get the lorries!" we knew he was a lunatic and was mashed on zerk, but we also knew that if we didnt follow what he said and lived we would get shot on sight by him anyway." Rene would pause again, indicating he finished. "long story short, we lost everything, but to answer your question, our gang prefer the landy, as its cheaper, has thicker armor and can keep up with 4L apes despite only being able to hold a 3.2L in the bay. aswell as have dual HMG's, turn around faster, and accelerate identically, so aslong as you know how to keep the death roll from getting out of hand, its better in plenty of ways.

Blood Roses:
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Clink, clink, smash goes the variety of cans and empty - or undrinkable - bottles of Dexters rotgut.

The cause of the cacophony is a lever action rifle, an uncommon design to be used in Somerset, wielded by "The Lamb". Earning his nickname from a daring decoy suicide run to hold the Blood Roses and Holistic Detective Agency crews in Badlands from a brutal ambush. Those times are long in the past, he's moved up north to retrain as a lieutenant of the Somerset chapter. However to The Lamb the servo assisted joystick controls of a machine gun doesn't compare to the organic feel of an ex-Warthog .22 calibre.

As the last bottle fractures and fragments fall to the burnt orange sand covering a makeshift firing range at the back of the Blood Roses garage, The Lamb drops the rifle to his side and admires his marksmanship, then turns his head as a fellow ganger jogs behind him.

Double B stops a few feet behind him and kicks a small sand cloud from sliding to a stop.

"Your turn" she greets, pointing through the garage.

"My turn?" The Lamb is dumbfounded, being back in Somerset only a few weeks and wondering what awaits him.

"Urgh you was out the last time. Remember the other week at Dexters when the peasant came and asked about peasant cars?"

"And then Ruth nearly got shanked after she nearly hit one of the nuns with MY bottle of hooch? That time at Dexters?" The Lamb is still unsure where this is leading and wishing he could continue with the firing range instead of being reminded of lost alcohol.

"Haha yeah...that was incredible" she replies, smiling in reminisce. "I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. It was good she emptied the bottle first or she'd have covered them and their table. THEN we'd have a problem."


"You don't want to know what the nuns are capable of. This is besides the point anyway! It's your turn!" She grows redder in the face with every passing syllable.

"What is my turn?!"

"Look! The past month a bunch of kids are runnning around and asking dumb questions on "chassis wars". Twitch can't stop shaking after the last one came and wasted her time on Carrier Vans and Estates. We didn't even get Jagged Sky ready in time. So since everyone else is out with the Monarchs YOU are going to deal with this one."

The Lamb sighs and resigns to his fate, holstering his rifle and without making eye contact, follows her pointing finger through to the garage.

Awaiting him is a twenty-something intern of the infamous "Old Man", standing right by the open garage doors. Sporting a leg brace, eye patch and a pad and pen in his hands he smiles as his latest victim of questionable journalism approaches.

"Apaches or Landrunners. This is for the Gazette so make your answer good!" Spoken in a hurried tone by the reporter, his writing hand unconciously creating small doodles on the pad.

The Lamb sinks his head, supported with one hand; the other hand still holding his rifle.

"Are you aware of whom you're asking this question to?" he replies in a slightly annoyed timbre.

The reporters face starts to go pale and his pupils dilate, memories of the fate of his fellow interns flooding what's left of his mind.

"This the Blood ####ing Roses. We do not use EITHER of those chassis and we NEVER will."

The Lamb returns his head from his hand, grasps the rifle in a hipfire position and slowly walks towards the frozen intern, completely deer in headlights.

"However since you and your kind have decided to waste our time again I will tell you I see many more Apaches than Landrunners."

The rifle suddenly points to the floor - an inch from the interns feet - and opens up; a deafening crack echos back through the garage.

A scream erupts from the intern and dashes with haste from the compound, leaving his pen and paper on the ground right next to the bullet scar in the sand.

Completely deadpan in expression he leans his rifle on his shoulder, turns to walk back inside and is presented with a slow clapping Double B, sitting cross legged on the bonnet of the only Buzzer in the lockup.

"Next time send Ruth", not pausing or even giving her a glance as he strolls back to the firing range.

Kings of Metal: King Tiger of the Kings of Metal gang is sitting at a quiet table in Dexter's enjoying a cactus beer with pepper. Overhearing some riffraff talking about some apaches vs. landrunners brings back a bad memeory, a rough day in a Somerset Arena Combat.

King slams his drink down and signals Dexter for three more with his left hand. His right arm doesn't move so well. A titanium plate covers what's left of his shoulder blade and collar bone and it still causes daily pain 25 years later.

King remembers that battle well. It was a Desert Tank combat, so there were Anti-Tank gun rounds flying in all directions. King grimaces at the memory. At one point his landrunner was on fire and rolling side over side whilst still taking fire.

King slams a drink and shakes his head. "I still can't believe I survived that!"

King jumped out of the burning landrunner. He remembers pulling up his rifle, because fighting on is what the Kings of Metal do.

The last thing King remembers from the battle was seeing the muzzle blast, and then the impact of an anti-tank gun round to his right shoulder.

King Tiger woke up in the Somerset Hospital about a week later. It was a long, painful recovery.

"Landrunners are solid, but put me in an Apache any damned day!"

Avenged Sevenfold: The powerful, guzzoline hungry rumbles of v8s echoes off the warehouse of Avenged Sevenfold as Siren's Song, 1/4 Mile Killer and the Viper wing all return from glorious muscle car dogfights.

"Learn how to drive, maybe?" Hee He shouts out the window of her Squadcar at the new drivers in the other three vehicles, with a smile and a wink. "At least I can keep my car on its wheels, bully!" Matthew Blackmore fires back from his legendary Flail with a laugh. Shaking her head and chuckling to herself, Hee He's entertainment is cut short when she spots a young woman sitting on the hood of a Sunrise parked outside their warehouse. As He gets closer, she notices the license plate reads "GAZETTE" and she cracks a grin. As the fleet of muscles approach their warehouse the bay doors slide open and Hee, without hesitation, opens the door and steps out of the still rolling vehicle. "You know where to park it," she tells Clara, her gunner, who quickly leaps into the driver seat to ensure the car doesn't hit anything. After the vehicles slip into the warehouse, the bay doors slide shut.

The young woman on the Sunrise, filing her nails, doesn't bother to look up as Hee He approaches. With an unenthusiastic inhale and exhale, she begins on, "Good afternoon, my na-" before she's interrupted by the racking of a rifle. *Scch, chhk* "Let me just stop you right there," Evelyn Myers quietly says, with the rifle tucked against her furry body, her teeth exposed as she lightly snarls.

Hee He is startled by Evelyn's unnatural speed, "You damn werewolves.. Put that down, we don't even know what she wants." Evelyn lowers the rifle, "Never seen this one in this area before, bet she's one of the cronies of that Old Man asking all the silly questions."

Chuckling to herself again, Hee He whispers to Evelyn before shooing her back into the warehouse. "Skip the pleasantries, what do you want?" she demands. The young woman, still spooked by Evelyn's kind greeting, rattles out "I'm here to ask if yo-" she's interrupted once more by the aggressive revving of a couple v8s from within the warehouse. "Ask you if you prefer the Apache or the Landrunner!" she quickly shouts out over the engines.

With an evil smirk, He lets out a sharp whistle- immediately after the bay doors speedily roll open and two Apaches come screeching out of the warehouse, each with a member of Avenged Sevenfold hanging off the side. When the young woman turns to look at the warehouse, Hee gives her a 'light' shove between the two Apaches. She's picked up by one of the gangers hanging off the two trucks, the other one ties her up by her feet and drops her in the sand before slapping the roof the Apache, letting the driver know to floor it. As the two trucks race off into Somerset dragging the helpless, screaming intern behind them, Hee He questions if that was a bit harsh.. before shaking her head and hopping on the Gazette Sunrise.

About fifteen minutes later when the Apaches pull back up and cut the intern loose, letting her flop out in front of her Sunny with Hee He perched on the hood. "I hope you enjoyed your time with Zealot Class and Black Fang, and I hope that shed some light on the Old Man's question," He says with a bright smile before sliding off the hood the Sunrise and skipping back into the warehouse behind the two Apaches.
With that thought, King slams his last two drinks and heads for the door.
An Interview With...


(Editor's note: The following is a new series of interviews with the gangs and personalities of Evan.)

An Interview With...The Blood Roses (Tez)
A weathered old woman who calls herself "The Trickster" introduces herself, standing next to a black and red Stormer; the V8 ticking itself cool.

"Take a seat mate", her hand gestures to a chrome finished deck chair, glistening in the Evan sun.

"So, where would you like to start?"

Q: Well, let's start with some background on your gang. How many years have you been in Evan?"

A: "Well it's been well over two decades; I was brought in by one of the original All Stars - Toni Cupps herself. She and old man Wheels really drove the gang back in the day; we had operations down in the truckstops and even some of the factories 'round there. Then one day the radios stopped replying, the days turned to months and years with no direction from the top. Now we're a bunch of relics with too much hardware and not enough finesse...for now", she says reaching to her side and taking a corked hip flask from her utility belt, wrenching the cork with what's left of her teeth and taking a sizeable mouthful of Dexter's finest - or cheapest - hooch. "The Somerset chapter is in swing now, we have some fresh faces to build to the future and that's what I will do 'till Xenas Angels finally makes good on the promise they made as I drove one of their Lancers one time."

Q: What vehicles does your gang most commonly use?
A: "Anyone who's anyone knows what we run; classic Windsors are our go to. Why? There's no role it can't do and how we run them is a signature on it's own - machine guns. Either a big one and a small one for the gunner and driver respectively or a pair of those uncommon middle ground ones. Never the rapid fire gatling guns; it unsettles the chassis and we rely on the maneuverability as well as the versatility. Need to join the line, Windsor will do it. Need to run for the traders, Windsor will do it. The lines gone to high hell 'cause some dumb zerk head forgot to repair their guns, engine, armour AND forgot reloads and we're dogfighting? Windsor will do it. No finer platform to run: space, engine capacity, stability, speed, handling - she has it all. Forgiving for the new blood behind the wheel...though hard to find if they have to walk home..." She tries to continue but launches into a heavy coughing fit, from Dexters brew or the notorious sand it's unclear.

"Sorry 'bout that, there's other cars we have custom kitted out but I wont let them out of the lockups in the truckstops 'till we're worthy. There's a whole fleet of Buzzers, a Trash Truck runnin' big bombs and even some firey Motorhomes but I can't remember what they're like, I've been up north now for too long. Oh...we also run Stormers now and then; better for the racing circuit than the wilderness between me and you. Can't handle recoil too well so you have to run car rifles or rockets. Quicker than most of the two doors though, especially those bloated bigger ones."

Q: Have you gotten involved with a particular faction and if so, why?
A: "I'm really not sure on the credibility of this as most of the ledgers from past decades were taken by Wheels himself when he retired to a factory off Badlands, but it's still rumoured now that we were strongly tied to the southern Privateers. But Badlands is our home and we will get back there. We still have contacts in the local militia and what passes as a government and they answer the radio."

Q: What made you choose the life of a gang over anything else in Evan?
A: "Lemme tell you something. I was born into a religious family who prayed to the sun and other garbage like that. In Badlands no less! One day in my late teens I saw a fleet of black and red Buzzers, three glaring "camoflage" paint Buzzers and three other Buzzers also in black and red but decalled like those poker play things. Maybe even one of those quad cab trucks was with them as well. All of them were in town barely two hours ago and they rolled back in covered in blood, bullet holes and dirt. Then their haul came in, there must have been twenty wrecks. Some barely moved and sounded rougher than Jakes himself on a mezcal bender, but Jet Black took them all regardless...and then he took their cars for repairs, they went to their lockups and took out identical vehicles, loaded up and headed straight back out. This happened maybe four times a day for most of the week, heroes they were. Especially Wheels and Toni, but that's probably because I can't remember the others...crew I think one was called? The poker one was king or joker or something. A few years later I bumped into Toni in The Gráinne Uaile and...well I begged to be in her crew. She said she'd let me in if I survived "being the lamb". Without thinking I agreed - but "being the lamb" meant driving the wrecks home. I cannot describe the rush from driving whatever moved from a days haul to the echo of cannons, machine guns, rockets and lasers. Praying to the sun didn't have the same...kick. Not after the first day. Now I drive Windsors with the crew and rally over town in a V12 Stormer. My angel is combustion and cannon fire now."

Q: Any particular advice for our readers?
A: "Run what you got and play to its strengths, not weaknesses. I'll tell you this, too many I see crews sitting still in the fragile muscle chassis. They're meant to move!" She pauses for breath, takes another swig and continues.

"And keep your gear in top form, the occasional dent and rough weld is fine but taking a four litre not firing on all six cylinders and runnin' so rich you may as well have a smokescreen on your ass is a death sentence. Finally, know when you've bitten off more than you can take on. There's shame in running from a fight, but more so walking home."

Q: Where did your gang name come from? Whats the significance?
A: "Again the ledgers are incomplete but one of the really old mechanics one said to me we started as Poison'd. Dreadful name I know, but apparently we did "Rocktacular VII". None of us know what or when it was but we have a toasted Windsor II in our lockup with that plastered all over it. They said the head came across some pre-rad memorabilia with "Blood Roses" on top with a crew in red and black leather in the foreground. I think it stuck."

Q: Are you competitors in any of the league or ladders?
A: "The lockup has a SCL trophy and even the major combat league trophy somewhere. We just hired a fresh'un from Dexters and she absolutely nailed the opener for this years racing league. Ruth is her name...I think. She'll keep her form for the rest of the season and she'll bring the third trophy home, that's her deal anyway...

Next season I'll consider sporting a SCL crew, but for now the racing league will do."

Q: Do you have a grudge or revenge against any other gangs?
A: "Grudges and revenges are a waste of time; old man Wheels learnt that the hard way. Him and a few other leaders decided to band together to try to dismantle the Deathrace Mafia once, the blood and hardware wasted was something else. So we haven't done those since; everyone is fair game and no one gets special treatment. Even our new friends."

Q: Any thoughts on the current state of affairs in Evan and anything you like to see happen in the future?
A: "Evan needs progress. I don't know how we've survived as a region for all these decades with the same hardware. I know it all works and works well but surely one of the factories near Texan can come up with something new. We had napalm guns some decades ago but since then it's been quiet.

Also some of the muties in Dexters are whispering of an old city to the far east of here; too crowded for any car. Rumours of pre-rad armour, said it negates the sun and stops lasers dead. I don't believe them but the younger crowd 'round and listen with wide open eyes. Sending a scout on foot is a death sentence and I don't hate any of them yet."

"Anyway, I've said too much and Cherie needs a hand. She's doing her first service on FlatOut", she leans back and finishes the hipflask in one long gulp then covers her mouth from the inevitable burp with her fingerless gloved hand. "You don't know fear untill a rookie fires up a million dollar engine missing three spark plugs...the noise and the smoke". She gives the intern a casual salute and walks back to the Blood Roses compound, stops briefly and turns.

"Where are you off to now champ?"

"Something obscene, Go fornicate I think. Boss didn't say much".

A sly smile appears on The Tricksters face. "Best of luck to you, it was nice knowing you."

An Interview With...

An Interview With...The Pole Dancers (Sir Nexus)

Leon Shepard sits in a chair, adorned in furs from Wolves and bears, with bones of other creatures making up its frame. He hasn't unskinned it yet, but he will.
Part of the rite of passage for the new gang leader is to kill his own animals on foot, to skin the chair, to prove he is as lethal on foot as he is in a car.
He won't truly earn the gangs respect until he has completed this task.

Jill walks in, not quite paying him the respect he deserves. She figures she should have been leader,
after what happened. However, she retained her position as first lieutenant and has reluctantly given in to grooming Leon for his position. She nods at Leon, and without preamble, says:
"There is an old man here to see you. He's got a notebook. Says he's the new editor in chief for the gazette." Leon smiles broadly. "News of my exploits have spread already? This is good!"
Jill smiles crookedly, the scar on her lip keeping her from smiling fully. "Actually, he wanted to talk to Henry, but you know....." She trails off and lifts the flap up to the Office. "Play nice!"

The Old Man shuffles in and sits across from Leon, eyeing him. Leon, in an attempt to posture, waits for him to speak. The Old Man clears his throat. "You, ah, look a little young to be a gang leader."
Leon lays his Flamer on the table. "And you look a little too old to survive being set on fire." The Old Man smiles, seemingly unafraid. "I've been threatened by every gang I've spoken too. You can stop trying to intimidate me.
This scholarly undertaking has been a long time in the making and I won't be dissuaded by bluffs and brags. Now, son, where's Henry?"
Leon stands up, both hands on the desk, and leans across until he is inches from the Old Mans face. "Henry's dead old timer. He got old, and he got sloppy. I'm the Pole Dancers leader now, and if you want something from me, you'd best be a little more
respectful, or we'll be the first gang to carry out our boasts and brags." The Old Man nods, and Leon resumes his seat, feeling the spectre of Henry haunt him, even now. He shakes it off and laughs.
"We're all good, Old Man. What can I do you for?"

Q: Well, let's start with some background on your gang. How many years have you been in Evan?"
A: (This reporter forgot to ask the starting question. Apologies. )

Q: What vehicles does your gang most commonly use?
A: Well, we use whatever is on hand, as one does. But we are quite partial to Landrunners. Especially up North in the sand. People don't care for them as much as Apes, but with a little more Armor, and the
ability to E-brake 360 degrees, we're never afraid to get down and dirty in a slugfest. For racing we keep a stable of Flashes as well. And although none of us can drive them damn thing,
we like our Eaton as well.

Q: Have you gotten involved with a particular faction and if so, why?
A: We've bounced back between Muties and Slavers. The latter mainly to keep our people from becoming one. We don't actually follow the ideals. It's like going to church once a year as christmas and
claiming to be Christian. Muties came about by accident. One of out first leaders was Manuel "Mindflare" Jones. A Muties with Psionics powers that rose through the ranks and led us for a long time.
With out gang be accepting of Muties, it seemed natural to join them.

Q: What made you choose the life of a gang over anything else in Evan?
A: To quote Tupac Shakur: We didn't choose the gang life. Gang life chose us.

Q: Any particular advice for our readers?
A: Do what you want. You like racing, race. You wanna run a camp, do that. Do what keeps you playing. Don't let anyone tell you you have to do something else to enjoy this game (4th Wall Break!)
That's goes doubly for me and other people that talk to much.

Q: Where did your gang name come from? Whars the significance?
A: We've actually had many gang names over the years, but The Pole Dancers had been around before, and after Henrys death in a Rally, it seemed fitting to adopt it again. Yes, it's a reference to strippers.
Leon gestures broadly at the building they are in. That's what this place use to be. But we also have a large presence in any Rally, and we tend to hit the damn poles everytime. Hence, the name.

Q: Are you competitors in any of the league or ladders?
A: We compete in everything we can. That's where you get the rare stuff. Both loot and memories.

Q: Do you have a grudge or revenge against any other gangs?
A: Grudge might be the wrong word. We have gangs we want to be better than. Grudges are for bitter people with no positivity in thier ife

Q: Any thoughts on the current state of affairs in Evan and anything you like to see happen in the future?
A: It's just good to see Evan in an upswing. I'm happy with the inclusion of Rallies, and my only gripes are superficial. Though some new cars to hunt would be nice.

An Interview With...Waskal Wabbits

An Interview With...Waskal Wabbits(Zazul)

"Wild" William Rose of the Waskal Wabbits gang walks steadily through the bay door of a busy mech shop at The Wabbit Hole holding an old man by the earlobe. His scaly mutated hand cutting the mans ear, he approaches "Shooter" Swinton busy at work repairing a v8.

"Sorry to bother you sir." He grunts in a low voice. "This guy was spotted near the south side of camp by one of the guards. He doesn't seem dangerous so we didn't kill him, but he claims to want to talk to somebody, can we keep him?" He licks his chapped brown lips with a forked tongue and an eerie grin.

Boyd looks up and wipes the grease from his scarred hands and lets out a sigh. "Well we could at least see what he wants first. Leave him with me."

William drops the man hard to his knees and walks back to the door. "I never get to have any fun around here dammit."

Shooter helps the man up and shows him to a nearby shop stool. "Sorry about that, my men aren't used to seeing unarmed pedestrians this far outta town, seems odd to me as well, but I'm sure you have your reasons.. What can i do you for?

Q: Well, let's start with some background on your gang. How many years have you been in Evan?"
A: -"I've been with the Wabbits for 10 years now. I heard they were making some noise around town while I was just settling in, and was recruited out of the tavern one drunken Sunday." Boyd cracks a mutant ale and offers one to the old timer. "I moved up the ranks and became the leader when our old boss bit the biscuit. Now I've passed the torch on to Mary Chun, she leads day to day operations out of town and in battle, and I just putter around camp and play gang historian."

Q: What vehicles does your gang most commonly use?
A: -"Our main money earners are Buzzers and Apaches. Anything that can take a few hits and stack some heavy guns on has always been my preference. We have an eclectic collection overall, with the right gunners any build can be successful in the wild as long as you have room for some ammunition."

Q: Have you gotten involved with a particular faction and if so, why?
A: -"The mayor of Morgan took me out for a few runs while I was still developing some battle tactics years ago and saved me a lot of frustration and carnage. So naturally when he offered his town alliance to me I was chomping at the bit. We've been allied with Morgan for almost 7 years now."

Q: What made you choose the life of a gang over anything else in Evan?
A: "Like I said before, I was recruited out of the tavern one afternoon 10 years ago. Down to my last dollar and a few swigs left in my glass I had little choice in the matter. It's not like there are a lot of employment options around these parts, and I've always taken to strategy games as a kid, so it was a natural fit for me and I haven't looked back." Boyd looks down at his beer with a smile and takes a sip.

Q: Any particular advice for our readers?
A: -"No advice worth tellin really. Best thing that helped us develop was to avoid unnecessary risks in the wild. Our gunners are our most valuable resource as a gang and to risk them just to chase down a few bucks worth of loot is a good way to die young."

Q: Where did your gang name come from? Whars the significance?
A: -"To my understanding the name originated from the first leaders youth. She was a race car driver and the first trophies to make her mantle were earned with a lil compact car she painted bunny ears on for fun. Her old man would call it a Waskally Wabbit and when he passed away she formed the gang to stay alive in Evan and used the name in his honor."

Q: Are you competitors in any of the league or ladders?
A: -"We try to compete in as many leagues as possible, but with camp business booming and constant work to be done, we don't always have the time to make every event."

Q: Do you have a grudge or revenge against any other gangs?
A: -"We do our best to keep our reps balanced with all factions and fellow gangs of Evan. There are still some Renegades out there that refuse to play nice with anyone however, but we have methods of dealing with them as well." Boyd points to a fully chromed out Legendary buzzer sitting in the parking lot.

Q: Any thoughts on the current state of affairs in Evan and anything you like to see happen in the future?
A: -"I'm happy to see so many new faces when we bring gear to the town markets these days. It gives me hope for a prosperous future for our gang and I'm confident that even after I meet my maker the Wabbits will carry on successfully. It would be nice if some of these new gangs weren't so pig headed tho, trying to give advice to some of these greenhorns is like yelling at a brick wall sometimes. You'd think id be happy to keep selling our goods to those that keep losing battles, but if they won more they'd have more money to spend and I could start charging more for my work."

Boyd finishes his beer and places the bottle in a crate of other empties near the bench. "This has been a fun chat, it isn't too often people take an interest in such things around here. I look forward to reading your article when it comes out." Boyd reaches out and shakes the mans hand, then grips it tight and pulls him in close. "It better be an accurate article too if you catch my drift." Boyd motions towards Wild William who is standing at the doorway sucking an a dirty cigar and polishing a sub machine gun. Boyd lets go of the mans hand and walks back to the engine he was fiddling with. "Now if you'll excuse me I've got some orders to fill."

An Interview With...Turner, Harvest and Ramirez

An Interview with...Turner, Harvest, and Ramirez (Wuulf)
Elkie counts out the crumpled change from the battered cash register, starts to pass the money to the guy in the cheap suit then pulls her arm back at the last minute, closing her manicured hand around the bills.

A pretty face, if you look past the scar, and a generously filled t-shirt only get you so much in the way of tips. Information pays the rest of her bills.

Elkie slowly pushes her shoulders back, adding even more strain to her already-struggling tee shirt and flashes a smile at the young reporter.

“Word is y’all looking for a story? If you’re not needin’ this here change, I reckon I can find you one... Eyes up here by the way.”

Hunter Jesus turns a light shade of crimson and coughs “Ahem, sorry, yes, keep the change.”

Elkie winks, “Bottom booth. Old timer goes by the name ‘Cheese’. Take him a bottle o’ whisky an’ he’ll talk as long as y’all need him to.”

She slams a dirty bottle and two chipped tumblers in the bar, holding out her empty hand for more money. Hunter hadn’t even noticed her pocket the previous stack of change.

“Don’t worry, he only drinks the cheap skred.”

Q: Well, let's start with some background on your gang. How many years have you been in Evan?"
“Phil Roche, though everyone calls me Philly Cheesesteak or Cheese. Been in THR for all of 23 years now, runnin’ the skred-show since Carl Badlands Tulley bled out about 11 year back.”

“I grew up in the favelas of Shantytown. You ever been? It’s a skred-stain on the face of Evan.

The first chance I got to escape was when a recruiter from THR offered me an two buddies a fistful of dollars in return for takin’ a car to Sarsfield and checking out the trade markets there. Sounded like easy money.

A few weeks later.. Dingo dead in a raider ambush, an’ me and Fingers were fightin for our lives in The Pit.

It was only me who made it through, with these bite marks as a reminder. THR got me out of Firelight even though I was injured, untrained an hittin the bottle pretty hard even then. I ain’t never looked back.”

Q: What vehicles does your gang most commonly use?
A: “Vehicles? For me it’s anythin that you can hang a Heavy MG on.

For scouts it’s always v8 Buccy’s. Combat units we mostly mix Pho’s for speed, with Apaches or Landie’s for gun platforms. But some guys get attached to their own vehicles, so we got a mix from a rusty old Chomper to a maxed out Flail.”

Q: Any particular advice for our readers?
A: Advice? Frack - a tough one. Everyone has different rules. A few basics that have kept me alive to this age: Always carry two sidearms and always check ammo and armour before a scout.

Manage your gang’s reputation. If your gangers are gettin beat to skred by angry townies then you’re gonna have bigger problems.

Remember any cars you got are replaceable, your people ain’t. Sometimes it’s better to take a walk in the desert when it’s lookin like Custer’s last stand.

I’ve been in the Pit more than once and walked way more miles in the rads that’s good for me.

I’ve seen good people and bad people die, some by my own hand, others by my bad judgement, most just cos luck is a perra.

I’ve broken most bones in my body and stutter when I don’t drink, which is pretty much only when I’m asleep, but I’ve made it to see my daughter turn 25 and the birth of my grandson.

Not many punks from Shantytown can say that.”
Q: Where did your gang name come from? Whars the significance?
A: “It stands for Turner, Harvest and Ramirez, you’ve seen the offices above the Chinese supermarket? It was a three person bounty hunter collective waaay back. When Nathan Andrus started things up he bought their old offices for our HQ and we jus never got around to changin the signs.

THR works like an agency - we usually got three or four crews running in different areas. We all work together, share spoils, rotate drivers when needed an’ keep the same rules.

Once a pledge has spilt their blood for THR they’re in. Past your peak, missin a leg, or like poor ol ‘Plegic’ whose laid up paralysed in Elmsfield burns unit, it don’ matter, we got you and your family’s backs for as long as you need.

If you’re an Andrus, Bongiorno, Gerner, Jackson, Slaughter or Tulley chances are you got brethren in THR. Hell, my own frackin’ daughter runs our Gateway operations.

Currently we got 666 Samurai scouting out of Somerstown, Firelight Devils - a group of ex gladiators working the Gateway corridor, an my own unit, Lucky Sevens. We worked Elmsfield for a time but operatin out of Camp Redemption for the forseeable.”

We started as bounty hunters as a lot of contracts still came to the offices, but over time the lines became blurred. Really frackin’ blurred.

Now we relieve a few traders of their burdens, but take out some of the real nasty operators and turn up in the leagues from time to time so we keep the townies on side, most of the time.

Exception is the commies. We don’t get along but the history is too much to go into now.

We’ve ended up working with the Death Race Mafia as they sit in the same space as us - guys with a bit of honour who ain’t troubled by a necessary bit of illegality.”

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.