Jul/Aug
2096
Cali and the Zards Win Northern Semi-Pro Combat League

The Northern Semi-Pro Combat League finished, with Cali and the Zards taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were Dirty Lickins, and finishing in third place overall were Sabre Dogs.
With young gunner Kristen Stewart leading the team, the Zards made a closely fought combat league all their own. "Oh look what I had in my pocket! Lucky you weren't in the league, I might have used this on you, it would have been enough".
Kristen is not known for her tact or politeness, but she can shoot.

 


Eternal Travelers Win Somerset Deathrace League

The Somerset Deathrace League finished, with Eternal Travelers taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were Joels Bastards, and finishing in third place overall were SaltnPeppa.

Eternal Travelers Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League finished, with Eternal Travelers taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were Rocky Horror, and finishing in third place overall were Street Pizza.
In a public appearance before his men at the start of the Ped Combat League, Henry was quoted as saying this.

 


Joels Bastards Win Elmsfield Summer Classic League

The Elmsfield Summer Classic League finished, with Joels Bastards taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were PA Racers, and finishing in third place overall were Mad Hatters.

Eternal Travelers Win Northern Summer League

The Northern Summer League finished, with Eternal Travelers taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Sabre Dogs, and finishing in third place overall were Somerset Lizards.

Stephen `Thot Begone` Gauthier of The Trouser Attacks died at Once Upon a Town.


Casey Reynolds of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Eileen Glass of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Krystal Bond of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Thomas Justus of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Freddie Moreno of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Donald `Patch` Anaya of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Nobuko Andrus of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Kip Tully of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Road to Elmsfield.


Scott Bellanger of FireWolf died at Road to Somerset.


Terrence Johnson of FireWolf died at Road to Somerset.


Kelli `HeavyGuns` Rainey of FireWolf died at Road to Somerset.


John Norman of Dirty Lickins died at Somerset Arena.


Wilson Fisk of Kings of Metal died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Ben Reardon of DF Knights died at Road to Somerset.


Jerome Snow of Murphys Mercs died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Alma `Spiv` Spivey of blue rock died at Shantyville.


Alejandro `im not` Gay of KILLtoll died at Road to Elmsfield.


Edward Martin of Machine Gun Morons died at Highway to Hell.


Beulah Leblanc of Raven Lunatics died at Salt Flats Canyon.


`Dundee` Walter Green of Iron Paladins died at Road to Somerset.


`Cut Throat` Pearl Koch of Iron Paladins died at Road to Somerset.


`Kilrah` Michele Hobbs of Iron Paladins died at Road to Somerset.


`Chopper` Aurora House of Iron Paladins died at Road to Somerset.


Travis `Big Gun` Wade of blue rock died at Shantyville.


Elvira Irwin of Raven Lunatics died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Scott Hammond of Raven Lunatics died at The Pit.


Eric Barrett of Blur Syndicate died at Ice Water.


William Torrey of Murphys Mercs died at The Pit.


Carl Mincey of Murphys Mercs died at The Pit.


Carolann Pumphrey of TheFireDragons died at The Pit.


Mario Palmer of chief died at Highway to Hell.


Anthony Closson of Blur Syndicate died at Once Upon a Town.


Malik Evans of Order of the Black Cat died at Lost Oasis.


Alfonso Morrow of Scarzams Sandmen died at Gates of Sarsfield.


Michael Gooch of Steel Clan died at Ring of Death Arena.


`Psyker` Adam Buzzard of Iron Paladins died at Never Plains: Sand Storm.


Alonso `Thunder Stool` Smith of The Trouser Attacks died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Carrie `Frog` Justice of Cestus Dei died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Mark Yoder of blue rock died at Double Down Arena.


Jean Claude of Romans Legion died at Road to Somerset.


Alonzo Cassette of Renshai died at Outback of Nowhere.


Emily `Lady` Vaughn of Bears Den died at Blown With the Wind.


`Solo Eye` Jack Jenkin of The Trouser Attacks died at Highway to Hell.


Shawn Owen of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Charles `LG` Sutliff of The Trouser Attacks died at Interstate Mythos.


Kenya East of Bamboo Cutters died at Telegraph Road.


`SawCon` Candice Dick of Bamboo Cutters died at Telegraph Road.


Willie Tracy of Dirty Lickins died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Maureen Quick of the mad mad crushers died at Sandy.


Michael Myles of Blue Foxs died at The Pit.


Perry `Pyre` Watson of Smoker U Drink, Player U Get died at Gates of Somerset.


Jennifer Spriggs of DWGs Most Hated died at Telegraph Road.


Brandi Falk of Dirty Lickins died at Road to Elmsfield.


Henry `The Gaffer` Rollin of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Spooky Forest.


Sarah Perez of Broken Machinegun Wagons died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Clarissa Buchanan of THERAPISTS died at Lonesome Highway.


Brenda Hartfield of PA Racers died at Gates of Somerset.


Cathleen Cochran of The Trouser Attacks died at Gates of Somerset.


Deangelo Anaya of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


`Gunny` Timothy Harris of Comanche died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


`Chauffeur` Craig Shaw of Comanche died at Gates of Somerset.


Karen Bacon of black widow died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Allen Mejia of THERAPISTS died at Barren Lands.


Princess `Fruity` Loop of Bamboo Cutters died at Pathway to Darkness.


Isaac `The Immovable` Garrison of Bamboo Cutters died at Pathway to Darkness.


`The Pioneer` Erlinda Cook of Bamboo Cutters died at Pathway to Darkness.


Daniel `The Virus` McAfee of Project Cerberus died at Gates of Somerset.


Max `Watermelonium` Brown of Bamboo Cutters died at Gates of Somerset.


Brian Powell of Blue Foxs died at Once Upon a Town.


Walter `Knee` Capps of Eternal Travelers died at Gates of Somerset.


James `Spider Bite` Armstrong of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Scattered Grounds.


Ali `Clubba` Seals of The Trouser Attacks died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Daryl `Hobo Terror` Stevens of The Trouser Attacks died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Benjamin `Dope Throne` McDonough of The Trouser Attacks died at Southern Plateau.


Marie Nutter of Nthan03 died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


`FM` Francis Meyer of Blood Roses died at Gates of Somerset.


Geraldo Riviera of housers died at Northern Farm Land.


Susie `The Younger` Hall of Eternal Travelers died at Northern Farm Land.


Michael Cogswell of Murphys Mercs died at Double Down Arena.


`killer` Justin Crew of Darkwinds Most Wanted died at Southern Plateau.


`158` Clayton Green of Darkwinds Most Wanted died at Southern Plateau.


Luciano Kim of housers died at The Pit.


Leopoldo Blum of housers died at The Pit.


Joseph Hazelwood of Avenged Sevenfold died at Somerset Super Speedway.


Jack Demarco of Blue Foxs died at Once Upon a Town.


Richard Yuhas of The Trouser Attacks died at Scattered Hills: Bridge Out.


Jessica `1089;1086;1073 Couch of The Trouser Attacks died at Scattered Hills: Bridge Out.


`WestBoro` Fred Phelps of The Trouser Attacks died at Scattered Hills: Bridge Out.


Virginia Short of The Trouser Attacks died at Somerset Arena.


Judy `Browntown` Brown of Cestus Dei died at Gates of Somerset.


Daniel Christopher of The Trouser Attacks died at Gates of Somerset.


Diane Bennett of The Trouser Attacks died at Road to Somerset.


Armando Vadnais of Kekistani Meme Veterans died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Christopher Martino of Kekistani Meme Veterans died at Northern Farm Land.


Jared Blasingame of THERAPISTS died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Patrick Nolan of THERAPISTS died at Acid Land.


Matthew Ahmed of THERAPISTS died at Acid Land.


Virginia Taylor of Monarchs died at Interstate Mythos.


Doris `jacks not` Jacques of KILLtoll died at Sandy.


Thomas Daniels of Blue Foxs died at Deadman`s Drop.


Kurt Russell of Hogs of Destiny died at Gates of Somerset.


Tyrone Moyer of SaltnPeppa died at The Pit.


`Deadshot` Michael Romero of Avenged Sevenfold died at Lonesome Highway.



Bountiful!

The most wanted gangs in Evan today are listed below. The bounty listed for each gang is a combination of the amount offered by local vigilante groups and by disgrunted individuals, and represents the amount of money you would expect to be paid for each senior member of the gang you kill.

1. Eternal Travelers (Somerset): $2081.
2. GO FORNICATE YERSELF (Elmsfield): $2044.
3. GO FORNICATE YERSELF (Somerset): $1872.
4. Smoker U Drink, Player U Get (Somerset): $831.
5. GO FORNICATE YERSELF (Gateway Truckstop): $497.
6. blue rock (Badlands Truckstop): $360.
7. blue rock (Gateway Truckstop): $360.
8. GO FORNICATE YERSELF (Badlands Truckstop): $199.
9. River City Gamblers (Badlands Truckstop): $189.
10. River City Gamblers (Gateway Truckstop): $189.

We are the meanest, rootin' tootin' gang in Evan, and when we get jumped by the Milita, all I see is a target rich enviroment. Those are the Travelers favorite kind of Enviroments.
Evan Leagues

As the year progresses, here are the leaders of the major leagues:

Evan Race Ladder - Afrika Korps
Evan Deathrace Ladder - TheFireDragons
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - SLESTAGE
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Interstate 82

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Somerset Deathrace League - Joels Bastards
Northern Summer League - Eternal Travelers
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally II League - Joels Bastards
Elmsfield Summer Classic League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League - Steel Clan
Circuit of Evan Rally III League - Joels Bastards
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally I League - Joels Bastards
Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - Cali and the Zards



Political Update

The relations between Badlands Truckstop and the Anarchists has fallen due to an attack on a large incoming food convoy.



Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth

The most drug-addicted gangs currently active in Evan are:

1. Kings of Metal.
2. Afrika Korps.
3. Avenged Sevenfold.
4. Splurs Scroungers.
5. Cestus Dei.
6. thebills.
7. Force of Valor.
8. Harrys Hippos.
9. Fyve Fynger Fiends.
10. Triskellon.

The heaviest addict in Kings of Metal is Lady Jayne, and her favourite tipple is Alcohol.

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Racing Robbie, Ayjona, JD_Basher, Bastille, Rezeak, Fifth, SmokeyKilla.