Jul/Aug
2092
The Wolf Spiders Win Northern Semi-Pro Combat League

The Northern Semi-Pro Combat League finished, with The Wolf Spiders taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were The police force, and finishing in third place overall were Hammerstein.

Cali and the Zards Win Somerset Deathrace League


 
The Somerset Deathrace League finished, with Cali and the Zards taking the overall victory and a prize of $180000. The runners-up were PerforatedPoo, and finishing in third place overall were Freak Legion.
The Zards added a third to their trophy cabinet with a first deathrace title. With the injury after two races to #1 driver Miranda Kerr, Susan Egan took over and pulled out two wins to secure a very close league win.
Susan, whose is known for playing Megorah and chasing after guys called Hercules, said in what was in the probably the sexist voiced post race interview ever
"Damsels in distress don't always need to be rescued. Sure, I've got weak ankles, but put me behind a wheel and I can match it with any Hercules out there. I'm a big tough girl, and I only barfed once on the upholstery. Have a nice day!".
With a laser in their armoury now, the Zards might just become a serious force in the wilderness around Somerset.


Freak Legion Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League finished, with Freak Legion taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were PerforatedPoo, and finishing in third place overall were Rocky Horror.

PA Racers Win Elmsfield Summer Classic League

The Elmsfield Summer Classic League finished, with PA Racers taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were The police force, and finishing in third place overall were Riot Racing Club.

SaltnPeppa Win Northern Summer League

The Northern Summer League finished, with SaltnPeppa taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Xena`s Angels, and finishing in third place overall were Steam Army.

Henry `Johnny` Marr of CryptKeepers died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Kevin Kato of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Peggy Dickerson of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Paul Oberlin of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Tommy Ballard of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Doris Rawls of SaltnPeppa died at Elmsfield Lake Track.


William Styles of that guys gang died at The Pit.


Donald `Sharky` Redd of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


`The Angel` Agnes Tate of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


Michael `Hax` Haakenson of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


Frank `Big Man` Hood of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


`Michonne` Michiko Anthony of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


Nancy `Rose` Thornton of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


`The Flame` Kathleen Ingram of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


Diana `Dominatrix` Dietrich of Skull Rippers died at Road to Somerset.


Martha Potts of Scarzams Sandmen died at Road to Somerset.


Diane Labadie of Raven Lunatics died at Once Upon a Town.


Wanda Hawkins of Tokyo Drifters died at Ring of Death Arena.


Antonio Armour of Danterrans Dilettantes died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Curtis `Marine` Smith of Storm Lords died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Liz Heidrick of Storm Lords died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Shanna Ruffner of Tokyo Drifters died at Ring of Death Arena.


Robert Bender of PA Racers died at Great Southern Desert.


James Long of PA Racers died at Great Southern Desert.


Edna Lefevre of Tokyo Drifters died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


John `Hurtin` Guertin of The Wolf Spiders died at Scattered Hills: Bridge Out.


Wesley `Cormorant` Hendricks of The Tacticals died at XoReX Speedway.


Patrick `Star` Cribbs of The Great Depression died at Gates of Somerset.


Gail `Ham` Hauck of Storm Lords died at Once Upon a Town.


`Sgt` Lee Pillow of The Wolf Spiders died at Road to Somerset.


Rosa `Dare Devil` Davis of The Wolf Spiders died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Nathan `The Meth Baby` Tolbert of Rat Phaces died at Gates of Somerset.


Kristen Stewart of Cali and the Zards died at Gates of Somerset.


David Rall of Rat Phaces died at Gates of Somerset.


Ruth Dixon of Rat Phaces died at Chaos Canyon.


Richard `RUSTY TOOL` Arnett of GO FORNICATE YERSELF died at Great Southern Desert.


Jamey `BIZNATCH` Bouchard of GO FORNICATE YERSELF died at Great Southern Desert.


Larry Dennis of 14th Street Fixers died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Elizabeth Morgan of Dirty Lickins died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Hilary Clinton of Storm Lords died at Pathway to Darkness.


Quinton `Medic` Montgomery of Storm Lords died at Pathway to Darkness.


Jeffrey `Napalm` Glover of The Wolf Spiders died at PirateCanyon.


Curtis Southern of The Flame Vulture Company died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Mark `Poseur Corpse` Boone of Freak Legion died at Chaos Canyon.


Alfonso `Thot Begone` Grantham of Freak Legion died at Chaos Canyon.


Robert `StreetJustice` Copenhaver of Freak Legion died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Jose `Maple Back` Laskowski of Freak Legion died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Richard Devita of extinctioners died at Road to Somerset.


Frank Wicks of Freak Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


Pedro Garrett of Spicy died at Double Down Arena.


Edward Pendergraft of 14th Street Fixers died at Gates of Somerset.


Steve `Ten Seconds` Dawson of Freak Legion died at Sandy.


Cherise Herr of Inbetween Reality died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Douglas Petit of Spicy died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


Jill `Knuckles` White of Scarzams Sandmen died at Dead man`s Road.


Kenneth Davis of Scarzams Sandmen died at Dead man`s Road.


Jesse Stearn of The Fox Trot Gang died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Arena.


Josh Johnson of Freak Legion died at Ring of Death Arena.


Carlos Paddock of Freak Legion died at Gates of Somerset.


Jack Arnold of PerforatedPoo died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Willie `Molester` King of Storm Lords died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Kristi Kerry of Raven Lunatics died at The Pit.


Eddie Mitchell of Raven Lunatics died at The Pit.


James Rodriguez of Kaytis Killers died at Double Down Arena.


Holly Justice of Inbetween Reality died at Somerset Super Speedway.


Timothy Main of Raven Lunatics died at The Pit.


Charles Black of Instant Legacy died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


Guy Smith of Instant Legacy died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Marilyn Monroe of Kekistani Meme Veterans died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Cory Jenkins of blue rock died at Road to Elmsfield.



Bountiful!

The most wanted gangs in Evan today are listed below. The bounty listed for each gang is a combination of the amount offered by local vigilante groups and by disgrunted individuals, and represents the amount of money you would expect to be paid for each senior member of the gang you kill.

1. Rat Phaces (Somerset): $1172.
2. PerforatedPoo (Somerset): $135.
3. The Purple Foxes (Somerset): $90.
4. U.A.C Union Aerospace Corp. (Somerset): $77.



Most Active Gangs


 
You`ve tired of seeing them on the circuit every time you visit. Every time you leave town, you seem to run into them. But just who are they - who are the most active gangs in Evan right now?

The most active gang on the deathsport circuit has been Cali and the Zards. Their most favoured type of event has been the deathrace, although they have also competed in numerous combat events.

Out of town, the most busy squads have been:
1. Oil Scrapper, owned by PerforatedPoo.
2. oofer gang, owned by myrmoney.
3. Non League Deathrace, owned by SonderKommandoRevolt.
4. risk, owned by extinctioners.
5. Tyre Looters, owned by The Great Depression.

"Well that's interesting", said Gabrielle Miller in between takes of the latest Trivago ads. "We're just training ourselves up though, the money and fame aren't the main reasons. Although, you should check out my band tonight in Somerset, we're pretty rad". Gabrielle's hand sign that she made next can't be repeated in print, so we'll leave that to your imaginations.


Big Earners on the Track

This list shows just who has been winning the most lucrative prizes on the circuits and arenas of Evan, during the past month.

1. Dirty Lickins: $368200.
2. Danterrans Dilettantes: $330220.
3. Rat Phaces: $231381.
4. PerforatedPoo: $177962.
5. Wasteland Recycling Company: $152933.

Deathsport Leagues

As the year progresses, here are the leaders of the major leagues:

Evan Race Ladder - PerforatedPoo
Evan Deathrace Ladder - myrmoney
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - U.A.C Union Aerospace Corp.
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - PerforatedPoo

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Elmsfield Summer Classic League - The police force
Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - The Wolf Spiders
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally II League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Pedestrian Combat #2 League - SonderKommandoRevolt
Circuit of Evan Rally III League - Joels Bastards
Northern Summer League - SaltnPeppa
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally I League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Deathrace League - The police force



Political Update

Relations between the mutants and anarchists are reported to be at an all-time high following the announcement of an arranged marriage between the daughter of a high-ranking member of Sabretooth with one of Mad Mac`s sons.



Celebrity Vehicles

The most well-known vehicles currently active in Evan are listed below. Have you seen these vehicles out on da streets?

1. Buzzkill owned by Anubis Cartel.
2. Grey Duke owned by Krashed and Burnt.
3. Trainer I owned by Hitmen Trucking Inc -CI-.
4. Ares owned by Overlanders.
5. Mentor I owned by Hitmen Trucking Inc -CI-.
6. Daedalus owned by Overlanders.
7. Counter Point owned by Hitmen Trucking Inc -CI-.
8. Di Yu owned by Overlanders.
9. Cruiser1 owned by Holistic Detective Agency.
10. Heavy Cruiser 2 owned by Holistic Detective Agency.
11. M1151 owned by Anubis Cartel.
12. Heavy Cruiser 3 owned by Holistic Detective Agency.
13. Jackal owned by Devilz Rejectz.
14. Insomnia owned by Hot Trax.
15. Dauntless owned by Hitmen Trucking Inc -CI-.



'Bad' Marshall Hunter

This month, we caught up with 'Bad' Marshall Hunter of The Darkside, one of Evan`s most skilled gunners.
Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.