Mar/Apr
2091
Red Raiders Win Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League

The Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League finished, with Red Raiders taking the overall victory and a prize of $150000. The runners-up were The Gladiators, and finishing in third place overall were Raven Lunatics.
Darkwind Gazette reporters were eager to get some sort of intel about the Red Raiders, the gang who continue to skyrocket in league fame and wasteland dangerosity. "Bosslady" was nowhere to be found but they did get a brief interaction with another of the gang's rising stars. "Batman" as he is known by all, Bruce Wayne was loading up the prize laser into the back of a Raider pickup when the reporters came up on him for an interview. They were stripped, beaten, and dumped on the doorstep of Somerset hospital. They never did get that interview but the smart can still glean some information from this incident. "Batman" is dangerous, impulsive, and calculating enough not to murder reporters inside the city limits. It's no wonder he is rising so fast within the gang hierarchy. "Bosslady" remains in control for now, but should the she-demon show weakness or pass from this world, "Batman" is currently a likely candidate to take the reins.

 


Cali and the Zards Win Somerset Race League


 
The Somerset Race League finished, with Cali and the Zards taking the overall victory and a prize of $120000. The runners-up were SaltnPeppa, and finishing in third place overall were blue rock.
Miranda Kerr, with all her skills on display, then headed to the podium to take the trophy. "I'd like to thank all the sponsors and also the other drivers for letting me win. We're in the middle of a long journey here, and this money and the lovely Royal Eaton will go a long way towards making things happen. Good luck next year!"
The Zards have been accumulating a lot of prizemoney recently, and their fleet of buzzers indicates that there is something else afoot, as buzzers aren't common on the tracks. Who knows what we may see them doing in the immediate future with their coffers bulging with the prizemoney.


Morgan Sacked!

Reports indicate that the isolated town of Morgan has been sacked by local pirates. Numerous resources, weapons and vehicles were lost to the raiders.

Red Raiders Win Somerset Winter Warmup League

The Somerset Winter Warmup League finished, with Red Raiders taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Joels Bastards, and finishing in third place overall were Tusio.
Darkwind Reporter Shawn "the Firedragon" recently got a brief interview with the Red Raider matriarch Gail "Bosslady" Jones. The 42 year old femme fatale had fire in her eyes. She would not give a reason as to the disappearance of the gang 12 years ago or to what brought about their sudden return to Somerset, but she did have a message for all those who get in this prodigal gang's way. "Run!"

Van Maughan of rebelfish resurgent II died at Blown With the Wind.


Anthony Tucker of Kaytis Killers died at Ring of Death Arena.


Mark Simpson of Kaytis Killers died at Lonesome Highway.


Jeremiah Breeden of Kaytis Killers died at Lonesome Highway.


Theresa Cannon of Kaytis Killers died at Lonesome Highway.


`Sir ` Curtis Johnson of Road Templars died at Chaos Canyon.


`Double Heavy` Beryl Zimmerman of rebelfish resurgent II died at Outback of Nowhere.


Gary Franklin of rebelfish resurgent II died at Outback of Nowhere.


Elizabeth `Buckshot` Bailey of Skull Rippers died at Double Down Arena.


Jo `Ree` Lax of Skull Rippers died at Double Down Arena.


Mary Miller of rebelfish resurgent II died at Road to Somerset.


Terrance Reed of rebelfish resurgent II died at Road to Somerset.


`Doctor` Herbert Patterson of rebelfish resurgent II died at Road to Somerset.


Liza Burson of The Plebians died at Sidewinder Raceway.


Adam Imai of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Sherman Tanksley of Wasteland Recycling Company died at Maure Dore.


Sylvester Thomas of Wasteland Recycling Company died at Maure Dore.


Antoinette `Wheezy` Lum of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Travis Metts of Disciples Of Max died at The Pit.


Darrel Leblanc of Raven Lunatics died at The Pit.


Garfield Arrington of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Somerset.


`Sir` Gabriel Darr of Road Templars died at Pathway to Darkness.


Rafael `La La La` Lahr of DESOLATION.ANGLES died at The Pit.


Steve Cree of Dumpys Rusty Nuts died at Double Down Arena.


Marvin Larkins of Raven Lunatics died at Road to Somerset.


Donte `Inferno` Ortiz of rebelfish resurgent II died at Blown With the Wind.


Ray Dalton of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Somerset.


Robert Smith of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Somerset.


Candy Orozco of rebelfish resurgent II died at Spooky Forest.


Robert Tynan of Flesh Cannon Boys died at Sandy.


Kenneth Giles of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Kenneth `UPS` Hamilton of Dirty Lickins died at Interstate Mythos.


Joshua Schmidt of rebelfish resurgent II died at Acid Land.


Robert Carr of rebelfish resurgent II died at Maure Dore.


`Just the fax` Jeremy Hernandez of DESOLATION.ANGLES died at Northern Farm Land.


Brook Poon of DESOLATION.ANGLES died at Northern Farm Land.


Dorothy `Don`t take no` Bull of DESOLATION.ANGLES died at Northern Farm Land.


Gary Turley of Raven Lunatics died at Gates of Somerset.


Tyler `Jerome` Richards of TheFireDragons died at PirateCanyon.


Dean `Monty` Way of TheFireDragons died at Toxic Wastes.


Fred `Rad Man` Temple of TheFireDragons died at Toxic Wastes.


Minnie `Mouse` Collins of Red Raiders died at Ring of Death Arena.


Michael Riley of Raven Lunatics died at Bombed Luna Road.


Elsie Gerner of Turner, Harvest and Ramirez died at Gates of Somerset.


Fletcher Harrison of Red Raiders died at Lost Oasis.


Paul Regis of The police force died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Vincent Stone of TheBeastsAreHere died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Thomas Bland of FireWolf died at Gates of Somerset.


Christopher Brown of Boyz of Noize died at Northern Desert Circuit.


James `MINE LAYER` Cunningham of Somerset Motorsport died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Carrie Crane of Somerset Motorsport died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Dennis `Dirty Den` Lowe of blue rock died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Azucena `Wolfie` Smith of blue rock died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Jeffrey Paquin of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Jonathan Vega of rebelfish resurgent II died at Gates of Somerset.


Michael `Mickey` Watts of blue rock died at Gates of Somerset.


`BadAss` Tamie Black of GooseGhost died at Gates of Somerset.


Marvel Singh of GooseGhost died at Gates of Somerset.


Ferdinand `da bull` Jones of Dirty Lickins died at Outback of Nowhere.


Philip `JUMPER` Womac of Somerset Motorsport died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.



Evan`s Most Wanted

The most wanted gangs in Evan today are listed below. The bounty listed for each gang is a combination of the amount offered by local vigilante groups and by disgrunted individuals, and represents the amount of money you would expect to be paid for each senior member of the gang you kill.

1. Kaytis Killers (Somerset): $1358.
2. harimau (Somerset): $111.
3. Baileys Bombers (Somerset): $75.



Big Time Professional


 
In the past month, the most prolific gang on the Professional deathsport circuit has been TheFireDragons, having competed in 9 events. Are these guys intent on getting famous, or are they just in it for the money?
We caught up with the leader of the FireDragons and asked him why they are so active in the Professional deathsport circuit. The large man cracked a wicked smile and replied. "what can I say, OCTANE its in our Blood!" Alvin`WingNut`Faulkner
Leagues Roundup

The current leaders of Evan`s major leagues are as follows:

Evan Race Ladder - TheFireDragons
Evan Deathrace Ladder - Dirty Lickins
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - TheFireDragons
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Dirty Lickins

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League - Red Raiders
Circuit of Evan Rally III League - Joels Bastards
Northern Semi-Pro Combat League - SaltnPeppa
Somerset Winter Warmup League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Race League - The police force
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally I League - Joels Bastards
Circuit of Evan Wilderness Rally II League - Longos Merry Men
Northern Paintball League - Mr. Bigs Bretheren



Political Update

Relations between the mutants and anarchists are reported to be at an all-time high following the announcement of an arranged marriage between the daughter of a high-ranking member of Sabretooth with one of Mad Mac`s sons.

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Racing Robbie, Ayjona, JD_Basher, Bastille, Rezeak, Fifth, SmokeyKilla.