2048
| | Mar/Apr 2048 |
 They`re owned by the enigmatic Darthspanky, beloved of Traders and scourge of all pirates. However... just where does he get all the meat? As we know, the only livestock on Evan are the cows and a few sheep kept near Somerset and Elmsfield. Why do we see these trucks bringing meat from the south? Last time we looked, there weren`t enough rad frogs and mutant snakes to make up all that meat. But hey, those McSpanky burgers taste soooo good.  Citing the recent reinvention of closed-circuit video cameras, many of Darkwind`s `old school` are predicting the decline of civilization. `This is exactly what went wrong the first time around.` said Dame Mary Waddell of Latte`s Raiders. `First they had TV, then these aweful things called Situation Comedies and next thing you know, global meltdown. Problem was, see, not enough guns.` While this sentiment seems to be echoed amongst many of the older gangs, the kids just love it. Dick Ford of Guns, Gears, Getaway slid to a stop on his skateboard to comment. `Have you seen event 78651 yet? Oh man, bweeeessht, bweeeessht, bweeeessht, bweeeessht! Darth just totally hands old Sharkie his fin on that one! I`ve watched like a zillion times! It`s the most popular clip on BoomTube! Then there`s that one S78775 Lunacy Vs Death Or Taxes where Lugal rolls out his prototype Landy, which we need to work on some still, but it`s totally sweet how he bounces that Apache like a big rubber ball!` This reporter is glad to see it, and looks forward to endless hours of reviewing clips, looking for weaknesses, and exploiting...er...digging up the news you expect from the Darkwind Gazette! ONE entrance/exit of this road will lead you into or out of the central dry-wash-out river bottom. IF you can find it. Once you find the opening to the river bed, you can accelerate from any trailing bad guys with no problems. The majority of the terrain you`ll find are steep rolling sand dunes punctuated with sand pits that can be impossible to get yourself out of if you enter them at too slow a speed. You can, however, run on the ridges of the dunes if you decide to run offroad, only if you pick your course carefully.  Image by Lord Foul Be careful! The rocky areas here will TEAR your tires apart!.... Keep in the riverbed and you might survive an event in this part of Evan! Most new drivers that try to go offroad on this map tend to get into more trouble with the terrain than the pirates gave them in the first place. The steep sides of some of these dunes are VERY slippery and will suck your car down to the bottom of a pit before you realize what is happening! They remind this reporter of a small bug, now extinct, called an `Ant Lion` that buried itself underground and set cone shaped pit traps in the sand for any unwary ants that happened to fall or slip into one of the deadly traps. Rumors have been heard that the large subterranean creatures seen long ago might inhabit this area of evan.  Nathaniel `Ma Deuce` Longfellow of Slaythofens died at Somerset Arena. Jerry `parked` Parker of Feeding Frenzy died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2. Sharon Mills of Deserters died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Richard Bailey of Deserters died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Michael Shick of Deserters died at Blown With the Wind. Curtis Goode of Exalted died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Mark Goodrow of Feeding Frenzy died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Sheila `Iza` Marvel of Battalion de San Patricio died at Somerset Arena. `Yorkshire` Dale Zimmerman of Special Circumstances died at Interstate Mythos. Kevin `Sir Robin` Jolin of Special Circumstances died at Interstate Mythos. `Chicken Lady` Gene Biehl of Produce_Vendors died at Road to Somerset. Derek Dick of Produce_Vendors died at Road to Somerset. James Kirk of Atomsmasher died at Road to Somerset. `Miss Daisy` Daina Bingham of Dementia died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track. Jay Rather of Atomsmasher died at Road to Somerset. Eric Wyatt of Lattes Raiders died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Heather `Boom Boom` Till of Battalion de San Patricio died at Pathway to Darkness. Kathryn Truett of Death Jesters died at Somerset Rally Circuit. Christopher `Thumper` Lanphear of Whiskey Runners died at Highway to Hell. Michael `Iron Mike` Holmberg of SD Rollers died at Scattered Grounds. Michael Becnel of Blacktop Bandits died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Ashley `Ash` Smidt of MADHAT died at Scattered Hills. Vicki Bryant of MADHAT died at Scattered Hills. Andrew `Hot Lead` Hotchkiss of Feeding Frenzy died at Interstate Mythos. Lidia `Razorback` Gerow of Red Hot Pukes died at Somerset Arena. Vanessa `Dueces Wild` Gamble of Rebels died at Somerset Arena. Hunter `S` Thompson of Guns Gears Getaway died at Somerset Arena. Eric `Lost One` Ramirez of Luna Sea died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. `Investigator` Selena Cromwell of Vigilante Knights died at Devils Fingers. `Raver` Kimiko Flood of Vigilante Knights died at Devils Fingers. Melody Reed of Blacktop Bandits died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Elsa Gilmore of Blacktop Bandits died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Clare `Cheer Leader` Bennet of Retribution Of Metal died at Road to Somerset. Michael Rosenzweig of the mad mad crushers died at Sandy. Roderick `RamRod` Winfree of Road Lords died at Somerset Arena. Rodrigo `Car` Cannon of Road Lords died at Somerset Arena. Jennifer Lewis of 5ive Crew died at Under a Bloody Red Sky. Lan Taylor of Feeding Frenzy died at Road to Elmsfield. Adam `The Hunter` Jaeger of SD Rollers died at Dead man`s Road. Gabriel `Garcia` Marquez of SD Rollers died at Salt Flats Canyon. `Seeker` David Delgado of Dementia died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Matthew `Panda` Janda of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Northern Farm Land. Claude Bolton of Slaythofens died at Somerset Arena. Stacy Lee of Rebels died at Somerset Arena. Troy `Full Salvo` Desalvo of Rebels died at Somerset Arena. Herman Core of Rebels died at Gates of Somerset. Benjamin Sisco of Atomsmasher died at Gates of Somerset. Monica Hutchens of Paganus died at Somerset Arena. Scott `Kestrel` Kessler of Clarinbridge Crushers died at Somerset Arena. Octavio `Blasta` Huff of Clarinbridge Crushers died at Somerset Arena. Michelle Barrows of Death Jesters died at Forever Yellow Skies. `Wild` Willie Gaertner of Burnt Tree Security died at Devils Fingers. Todd `Stumpy` Perez of Death Jesters died at Forever Yellow Skies. Debra Irish of Death Jesters died at Forever Yellow Skies. Gloria Goodspeed of Atomsmasher died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Salvador Daly of LESS THAN CAPS died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night). `El` Salvador Surratt of PendCorp died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night). Calvin `Empty Casing` Merchant of Luna Sea died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. James Riley of Guns Gears Getaway died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Marlene Alexander of Gearjammers died at Scattered Grounds. Dustin `Hushpuppy` Schuh of Gearjammers died at Forever Yellow Skies. `Electric` Edward Robinson of The Paranoid Tourists died at Northern Speedway. Willie Davis of Lattes Raiders died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. `Sir` Johnny Beltran of Lattes Raiders died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Irene Smith of Geriatric Anarchists died at Somerset Arena. `Low` Renee Loera of The Groove Champions died at Road to Elmsfield. Michael Newton of Cap distributor died at Somerset Arena. Tim `The Tin Man` Pelkey of MADHAT died at Devils Fingers. Angela `Big Ang` Shah of MADHAT died at Devils Fingers. Alfred Trombley of MADHAT died at Devils Fingers. Marcia Wooten of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Once Upon a Town. Man Foster of Longos Merry Men died at Northern Farm Land. Judith Burgos of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Firelight. Howard Smith of MADHAT died at Devils Fingers. Timothy Owens of MADHAT died at Devils Fingers. James Felker of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau. Irving McGehee of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau. Jo Ring of Legends of the Interstate died at Road to Somerset. Kevin McWhorter of Legends of the Interstate died at Road to Somerset. Crystal Nolasco of Kitchens died at Somerset Arena. Robert Halfacre of Deserters died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Miss `informed` Marvel of Deserters died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. William `WILD BILL` Perez of Longos Merry Men died at Salt Flats Canyon. Jean Wulf of The Urgs died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1. `Paramedic` Johnny Gage of Battalion de San Patricio died at Lost Trail: Dead River. William Bonney of Battalion de San Patricio died at Lost Trail: Dead River. `Mrs.` Laura Johnson of Battalion de San Patricio died at Lost Trail: Dead River. `Mr.` James Johnson of Battalion de San Patricio died at Lost Trail: Dead River. James Bosco of Dementia died at Somerset Rally Circuit. Bart Obando of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Somerset Arena. Dale `Flappy Paddle` Flannigan of PendCorp died at Salt Flats Canyon. Andrew `Hot Lead` Hotchkiss of Feeding Frenzy died at Gates of Somerset. Adam Douglas of Atomsmasher died at Telegraph Road. Derek McCullough of Atomsmasher died at Telegraph Road. Joy `Jo-Jo` Adams of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau. Mary Parry of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau. Michael McFarland of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset. Kristine Levesque of the mad mad crushers died at Road to Somerset. Luke Yancey of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Tristan Klein of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Adrian Landry of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Jason Ott of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Gail Whipple of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Rogelio `Sticks` Walker of Retribution Of Metal died at Under a Bloody Red Sky. Michael Barnett of The 4saken died at Devils Fingers. Oscar Bush of The 4saken died at Forever Yellow Skies. Helen `The Butcher` Waldron of Special Circumstances died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3. Barbara Garr of Whiskey Runners died at Scattered Grounds. Larry Allman of Feeding Frenzy died at Gates of Somerset. Gregory Hanson of Bladerunners died at Road to Somerset. Marc `All Round ` Emery of Los Banditos Marodos Negras died at Interstate Mythos. Richard Harvard of Blacktop Bandits died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Phil `Jay` Fry of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Road to Somerset. Kira `Moon-shot` Osburn of Geriatric Anarchists died at Somerset Arena. Steve McQueen of Guns Gears Getaway died at Pathway to Darkness. Marcella `Do NOT Panic` Horvath of Guns Gears Getaway died at Pathway to Darkness. Alicia `Stuckin` Lemire of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Hills. Harry `Hitter` Tyson of Riotous Assembly died at Scattered Hills. Stephen Gonzalez of Retribution Of Metal died at Road to Somerset. 1. Longos Merry Men (Somerset): $8101. |
by Forsaken
 The current leaders of Evan`s major leagues are as follows: Evan Race Ladder - Guns Gears Getaway In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are: Somerset Pedestrian Combat #1 League - Slaythofens |