Nov/Dec
2054
an0maly Win Somerset Combat League

The Somerset Combat League finished, with an0maly taking the overall victory and a prize of $240000. The runners-up were Joels Bastards, and finishing in third place overall were Snow Drifters.

Latte`s Church of Raiders



One of Somerset`s two churches has recently been renamed, following a very hefty donation by local philanthropist Sir Latte. The actual donated sum is undisclosed, but local cleric Bert `Rat-eyes` McCulloch was quoted as saying: `yeah, we renamed it `Lattes Church of Raiders`, I have no idea what it means, but who cares we got loads of money, right?`

Route 666 Win Gateway Pedestrian Combat League

The Gateway Pedestrian Combat League finished, with Route 666 taking the overall victory and a prize of $175000. The runners-up were Joels Bastards, and finishing in third place overall were Cattz.

Highway Hellriders Win Evan Race Ladder

The Evan Race Ladder finished, with Highway Hellriders taking the overall victory and a prize of $90000. The runners-up were PA Racers, and finishing in third place overall were Devilz Rejectz.

Highway Hellriders Win Evan Deathrace Ladder

The Evan Deathrace Ladder finished, with Highway Hellriders taking the overall victory and a prize of $90000. The runners-up were MADHAT, and finishing in third place overall were black widow.

an0maly Win Evan Arena Combat Ladder

The Evan Arena Combat Ladder finished, with an0maly taking the overall victory and a prize of $90000. The runners-up were CryptKeepers, and finishing in third place overall were Gene Pool.

Scorpions On The Rise PT II

By J.D. Basher

Susan Mayer slung the rifle on her shoulder while handing an SMG and the ammo bag to Mike Lefave, she slung the remaining SMG upsidedown under her left arm. `Lemme get an SMG and rifle reload mike... You hang on to the rest.`

`Wait a minute! Why do you get the rifle?!?!` He complained.
Sue walked back to the overturned Apache and put a large rock on the main chassis rail and backed off 30 feet. `OK Mike, lets see you take that rock off the car!` Sue chided tossing the rifle to Mike. He shouldered the weapon and breathed. `Exhale-hold-fire`.

The bullet hit half a meter right and high passing through the destroyed rear tire of the Apache and whistled off into the distance.

`Fine` Mike said handing the rifle back to Sue, his head hanging. `Hey!! No big deal Mike, you got a nice bullet sprayer there, you`ll be fine with that SMG.`

`Lets get moving` she said slapping him on the shoulder. The sky was a ruddy red as the sun set. `I saw some cliffs about 5 klicks from here, looked like there were some caves too. We better head there and hunker down till morning, we can get there by nightfall.` Mike said nothing as they both re-arranged their gear for a long walk.

The cliffs now dominated the horizon as their boots slipped and sunk into the endless sand dunes they crossed getting here. Mike huffed, `can we .... stop.... forabit?!`
They stopped on top of the dune and turned to face the cliffs.

No more than 1 klick distance, but they looked SO far away!
The sun had set an hour ago but it was already pitch dark out here in no-mans land. The cooling breeze in their faces was coming from the cliffside area ahead. The lowering temperature was rejuvenating but.... There was something in the air.

Sue settled on one knee next to Mike. He sat with legs extended leaning back on his arms. `You OK?!` `Yeah` Mike said exhaling the cooler breeze. `Good` Sue replied, `We only have a 30 minute walk to the cliffs, we can wait another 15 here then get over there, right?` Mike sat up and began searching his rucksack.
`You bet, Sue` Mike said as he breathed heavily sucking on his canteen. Sue put her hand on his, holding the upturned container and lowered it. `Go easy on the water... too much will slow you down`

She gazed at the cliffs, the image shifted back and forth in the heat emanating from the dunes.

The terrain changed as they approached the cliffs. Endless dunes gave way to Rocky, hard-pan soil. Broiled by the sun and baked hard. `Look` Sue said as she pointed to the face of the cliff. `There, under that overhanging bush, that cave`s got good cover` Mike was leaning over with his hands on his knees huffing for breath as she moved to the cave warily readying the SMG in her hands.

Mike unconsciously held his breath as Sue stuck the muzzle of her SMG through the hanging vegetation in front of the cave. She deftly swept the dry, hanging vines and leaves to one side and stepped from his view. He remembered to breathe when he turned his head to look along the cliffside. The sound was a bit closer when he heard it next... a sound like fingernails clicking on eachother....

No sound now..... Just the cooling breeze following the cliffside. He moved to the opening of the cave and whispered, `Sue....` No answer.

He moved to the edge of the cave opening and leaned in to whisper.... `Sue... Are you ..`
An arm appeared from the veil of vegetation and grabbed the straps of Mikes backpack and pulled him into the cave behind the leafy cover. A hand cupped his mouth as he was about to go into a tirade. `SHUT-up`... `Don`t say a word` Sue said as she pulled Mike deeper into the cave pointing with her free hand at the entrance. That peculiar `nail-clicking` sound became louder..... Sue loosened her grip on Mike when he started breathing slower... `Watch out there` she whispered in his ear. `Stop moving and watch......`

to be continued

an0maly Win Evan Paintball Combat Ladder

The Evan Paintball Combat Ladder finished, with an0maly taking the overall victory and a prize of $75000. The runners-up were Route 666, and finishing in third place overall were Longos Merry Men.

PA Racers Win Gateway Winter Meltdown League

The Gateway Winter Meltdown League finished, with PA Racers taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were BD And Sons, and finishing in third place overall were 5ive Crew.

Claude Sweeney of rebelfishes died at Gates of Somerset.


Alicia Aponte of Nephilim Rising died at The Pit.


Richard Riddle of Triumph died at Highway to Hell.


Laura `Banger` Jude of Marloks died at Lost Trail: Dead River.


`Picky` Rose Ketterer of Marloks died at Lost Trail: Dead River.


Guillermina `Death` Temple of Tangos Light Brigade died at Double Down Arena.


Norma Ewen of Big Liver died at Northern Farm Land.


Shantel Holliman of Triumph died at Highway to Hell.


Bruce Salazar of Triumph died at Highway to Hell.


Ted `LetIt` Rains of 5ive Crew died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


William Vasquez of PA Racers died at Elmsfield Hills Rally Circuit.


Joseph `Shallow` Pettyjohn of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Northern Farm Land.


William `Bill` Butler of The Black Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


`Baroness` Brittany Mathis of Crazy Canucks died at Dead man`s Road.


`SiRrr` Ronny Rucker of Crazy Canucks died at Dead man`s Road.


`King` Thomas Fisher of Crazy Canucks died at Scattered Grounds.


Michael Daniel of Grease Gun Crew died at Road to Somerset.


Frank Stover of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


John `Duke` Earl of Snow Drifters died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Jeffrey Stanger of Cavefish died at Gates of Somerset.


Timothy Lytle of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau.


Keith Hamlin of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau.


Rod Wilson of MADHAT died at Southern Plateau.


Henry Romeo of MADHAT died at The Pit.


Kevin Elson of MADHAT died at The Pit.


Michele Michell of Danse Macabre died at Gates of Somerset.


Joyce Vick of 3 inchs of danglin fury died at Once Upon a Town.


`Easy` Erica Porter of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Michele `Heartbreaker` Brown of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Michelle `Vaseline` Modlin of Weak Head Normal Forms died at Lost Trail: Overland.


Barbara Fox of The Vermin died at Blown With the Wind.


Hazel `Bullseye` Pugh of The Vermin died at Blown With the Wind.


Wendy Shaw of Danse Macabre died at Gates of Somerset.


Brenda Teague of Port Kar Renagades died at Scattered Grounds.


`Outback` Octavia Campbell of Seekers died at Road to Elmsfield.


Phillip Lawson of 3 inchs of danglin fury died at Gates of Somerset.


Suzanne Pray of Cattz died at Northern Farm Land.


Cornelius Freshour of Maxxed Out died at Gates of Somerset.


Adelaide Walker of dark impakt died at Road to Elmsfield.


Judy `di` Pierro of dark impakt died at Road to Elmsfield.


Phyllis `Flamer` Gregory of Shadow Lancers died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Kara `Jr. Executive` Floyd of rebelfishes died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Kurt Low of rebelfishes died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Todd `Stumpy` Chase of rebelfishes died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Riva Camara of rebelfishes died at Road to Elmsfield.


Dovie Brown of 3 inchs of danglin fury died at Gates of Somerset.


Mario Juarez of Demolition Crew died at The Maze.


Roy `3 thumbs` Flores of Confrerie died at Once Upon a Town.


Cheryl Turner of Burdens Heavyweights died at Canyon Joust.


Cythia `Blondie` Friedman of The Bloody Beekeepers died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Jesus Thigpen of HellzFire died at Northern Farm Land.


Robert `Deadeye` Helm of Cavefish died at Once Upon a Town.


`Crabby` Sarah Noles of Route 666 died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Jennette `Jammin`` Swanson of Burdens Heavyweights died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Tina Rodriguez of Confrerie died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


`Wag` William Vanwagenen of Crazy Canucks died at Maure Dore.


Leon Wilder of Crazy Canucks died at Maure Dore.


Timothy Proctor of Crazy Canucks died at Maure Dore.


Robert Thompson of The Dionysian Dozen died at Acid Land.


Guillermo `Wrench` Shealy of Madd Hatters died at Gates of Somerset.


John `Hits Like Ike` Turner of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Smokey Hills.


`Kevlar` Keva Torres of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Smokey Hills.


Alfred `Mac` McCraw of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Smokey Hills.


Violet `Irresponsible` Mortensen of Drive Backwards BFFs died at Gates of Firelight.


Gabriela Dabney of The Meese died at Blown With the Wind.


Janice `Ranger` Swanigan of The Vermin died at Blown With the Wind.


Dorthy Lamb of The Black Legion died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Charles Griffith of The Black Legion died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Myung Xu of Cavefish died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Lulu Bangs of Stucky and the Bit Pigs died at Pathway to Darkness.


Christopher Colligan of Damage Incorporated died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Wilbert `Podunk` Swanson of The Burgerflippers died at Road to Somerset.


`Her Highness` Felicia Spain of The Burgerflippers died at Road to Somerset.


Wesley `Big Swede` Svendsen of The Burgerflippers died at Road to Somerset.


Beatrice `Wildchild` Schild of The Burgerflippers died at Road to Somerset.


Wayne `Boom` Warner of Fifth Legion died at Blown With the Wind.


Frank `Drifter` Horvath of The Vermin died at Serpentine Road.


Lawanda `Just Poped A` Whitehead of Old School Perverts died at Road to Somerset.


Veronica `Angel Face` Montgomery of Old School Perverts died at Road to Somerset.


Honey `lips` Bunch of The Pikers died at Northern Speedway.


Robert Davis of Triumph died at Interstate Mythos.


Brett Bowen of Devilz Rejectz died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Salley Xie of The Meese died at Interstate Mythos.


James Levine of Cavefish died at Telegraph Road.


`Mona` Lisa Hammond of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Devils Fingers.


Melvin `The Melvins` Hopes of Crazy Canucks died at Highway to Hell.


Dewey Archer of Crazy Canucks died at Highway to Hell.


`War` Lyle Warren of Crazy Canucks died at Highway to Hell.


Nicholas Powell of Turbulence died at Scattered Grounds.


Wayne `Justice` Patterson of Abysmal Horrors died at Sandy.


`Not so great` Blake Dearing of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Gateway Interstate Arena.


Jason Adams of Volatile Nature died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Michael `Sig` Sauer of The Fatalistics died at Gates of Sarsfield.


`Happy` John Vargas of The Fatalistics died at Road to Elmsfield.


`Iron` Brian Pritchard of Rezeaks Racers died at Double Down Arena.


Anthony Phelan of Fifth Legion died at Telegraph Road.


Joey `JD` Smith of Headspace and Timing died at Blown With the Wind.


Vonda Reed of The Fatalistics died at Northern Farm Land.


Richard `Big Boom` Gould of The Fatalistics died at Northern Farm Land.


Tamatha `Not A` Driver of The Fatalistics died at Northern Farm Land.


Roger `Quick Cut` Archie of The Fatalistics died at Northern Farm Land.


`Little` Luke Leslie of The Fatalistics died at Northern Farm Land.


`Fergy` Perry Randel of The BAMFs died at Acid Land.


Bernadette Cardinal of Big Liver died at Smokey Hills.


`Fix-It` Frank Cain of Seekers died at Gates of Somerset.


Adrian Smith of French Foreign Legion died at Blown With the Wind.


David `Oil Change` Perkins of Street Pizza died at Lost Oasis.


John Heard of PA Racers died at Canyon Joust.


Artie Davis of Hot Trax died at Northern Farm Land.


Clarence Parker of Hot Trax died at Northern Farm Land.


John Lewis of Molotov Mafia died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Mark Ramirez of The Mangled Horde died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Adam `Sandler` Blankenship of Afrika Korps died at Acid Land.


William Schindler of Iron Wraiths died at Somerset Arena.


Jeffrey Arceo of thebills died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Minnie `hello` Arnold of thebills died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Jason `Wink` Wilkinson of black widow died at Highway to Hell.


Tammy Farley of French Foreign Legion died at Lost Oasis.


Carolyn Nguyen of French Foreign Legion died at Lost Oasis.


Clifford `Big Red` White of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Scattered Grounds.


`Martin` Luther Mintz of Big Liver died at Scattered Grounds.


Russell `Chief` Auger of Big Liver died at Scattered Grounds.


Wilber `Pete` Wiebe of Big Liver died at Scattered Grounds.


Sean `Naj` Najera of Mambas Maniacs died at Dead man`s Road.


Sammy `Le Grande` Rios of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Forever Yellow Skies.


William Spurlin of Mambas Maniacs died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Roy Miller of Somerset Militia died at Gates of Somerset.


Paula Thomas of Devilz Rejectz died at Scattered Grounds.


David `Nomenclature` Smith of The Dionysian Dozen died at Northern Farm Land.


Lynn Campuzano of We killed him for his Potatoe died at Blown With the Wind.


Jeff Grimes of Hot Trax died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Marion Sipes of Dust Trolls died at Somerset Arena.


Larry Charbonneau of Devilz Rejectz died at Acid Land.


`Captain` Chris Coppola of Headspace and Timing died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Michael Pino of Abysmal Horrors died at Gates of Somerset.


Rosie Dalton of Confrerie died at The Pit.


Frank `Mother` Hubbard of French Foreign Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


Verda Denson of HellzFire died at Northern Farm Land.


Ray Williams of HellzFire died at Northern Farm Land.


Joseph Bechard of HellzFire died at Northern Farm Land.


Gus Knauss of Hot Trax died at Northern Farm Land.


Felix `Boom Boom` Bowles of Order of Dagon died at Northern Farm Land.


Clarence McKnight of Maxxed Out died at Northern Farm Land.


Leon Davis of The Black Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


Andy `Beanpole` Simon of Headspace and Timing died at Northern Farm Land.


Ike Morales of Dead OR Alive died at Road to Elmsfield.


Bobbie Lawson of Dead OR Alive died at Road to Elmsfield.


`Dirty` Donna Kowalewski of Knights of the Round Tire died at Once Upon a Town.


Jo Millman of Woblly1 died at Northern Farm Land.


`Lead Foot` Blondell Davis of Route 666 died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


James `Sandman` Sandoval of The BAMFs died at Lonesome Highway.


James `Jimmy Jimmy` Jimmerson of Burdens Heavyweights died at Northern Farm Land.


Edward `cuts down` Figgs of Burdens Heavyweights died at Northern Farm Land.


Mark Isom of The Cheesemakers died at Lonesome Highway.


Karina Thompson of Shrapnel died at Once Upon a Town.


Dylan `Buckshot` Temple of Tangos Light Brigade died at Telegraph Road.


Roy Harmon of Blackwatch died at Dead man`s Road.


Anna `Banana` Parra of Blackwatch died at Dead man`s Road.


Thomas `Tommy Gun` Marquis of Blackwatch died at Dead man`s Road.


Frank Whiting of Triumph died at Highway to Hell.


Janie Ramos of Cattz died at Lost Oasis.


Angelina Hall of Devilz Rejectz died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Lori Dial of Devilz Rejectz died at The Pits.


`Jim Slim` Jim Best of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Road to Elmsfield.


James Perry of The Dionysian Dozen died at Northern Farm Land.


Courtney Nicholas of We killed him for his Potatoe died at Once Upon a Town.


Desmond Decker of We killed him for his Potatoe died at Once Upon a Town.


Richard McFarland of Triumph died at Pathway to Darkness.


William `Bill 4 short` Ortega of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Adam Anderson of Triumph died at Lost Trail: Broken Ground.


Micheal `Turn yer Head` Coffman of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Salt Flats Canyon.


April Haack of Giggly Schoolgirl Assassins died at Once Upon a Town.


Alicia Tynan of Giggly Schoolgirl Assassins died at Once Upon a Town.


Landon Weaver of Confrerie died at Gates of Somerset.


Mike Contreras of Confrerie died at Gates of Somerset.


Tony `Hit` Greco of Confrerie died at Gates of Somerset.


Aaron `Prison` Barber of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Pathway to Darkness.


Tom `I`M` Bad of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Once Upon a Town.


Charles Green of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Once Upon a Town.


Lajuana Ackermann of The Meese died at Interstate Mythos.


Wendy Lozano of Kell hounds died at Once Upon a Town.


Johnny White of Dead OR Alive died at Lost Oasis.


Beth `Beastie` Scott of Confrerie died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Mark `Slammin`` Sanner of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Devils Fingers.


Evelyn Dyer of entropy police died at Acid Land.


Margaret Bowling of BD And Sons died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Edward `The Myth` Smith of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Gary `Curmudgeon` McCutcheon of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Jeffrey Becker of The Cosmic Kids died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Jesse `Jessay` Parris of Fifth Legion died at Once Upon a Town.


`BeBe` Beulah Berryhill of Fifth Legion died at Once Upon a Town.


`Mrs.` Ronald Larsen of The Black Legion died at Once Upon a Town.


Tony `The Tiger` Key of The Black Legion died at Once Upon a Town.


Minnie Martin of Confrerie died at Lost Oasis.


Dean Clark of Triumph died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Carson `Apache` Steck of Headspace and Timing died at Lost Oasis.


Fred Harrel of Triumph died at Gates of Elmsfield.


`Hilton` Dustin Perez of Goldfish died at Blown With the Wind.


Todd Diaz of Goldfish died at Blown With the Wind.


Emogene `Sign The Pain` Register of rebelfishes died at Road to Elmsfield.


Donna `Dirty Nails` Swearingen of Danse Macabre died at Road to Elmsfield.


Jerold York of The Danger Rangers died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


James Bailey of Herms Hammers died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


John `The Fixer` Dickison of 3 inchs of danglin fury died at Highway to Hell.


Jeffrey `2` Fowler of Grease Gun Crew died at Road to Elmsfield.


`Sketchy` Tyrone Koch of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Earnest Knight of Hot Trax died at Gates of Somerset.


Kevin Joseph of Maxxed Out died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Jonathan Jones of Paladins died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


William Sears of cruor quod opulentia died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Kyle Walker of Eldritch Assassins died at The Pits.


Keith Morano of Port Kar Renagades died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Cody Carlson of The Privateers died at Somerset Arena.


Alfred `One Way` Lane of Cavefish died at Blown With the Wind.


Caitlin Gaillard of Stucky and the Bit Pigs died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


`Freddie` Lynn Batson of PA Racers died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Donald Lam of PA Racers died at Salt Flats Canyon.


Douglas Carpenter of MADHAT died at Once Upon a Town.


Randy Salinas of MADHAT died at Once Upon a Town.


James Howell of 3 inchs of danglin fury died at Road to Somerset.


Mary Bartos of S.S.S. died at Gates of Texan.


Carolyn Nash of Triumph died at Blown With the Wind.


Diann Dupre of Dead OR Alive died at Smokey Hills.


Gene Tabares of Port Kar Renagades died at Highway to Hell.


Erich Rock of The Danger Rangers died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Iva Clayborn of The Wanders died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Frank `Hernan` Cortes of Longos Merry Men died at Lonesome Highway.


Raul McNulty of Road Lords died at Northern Farm Land.


William Martin of Road Lords died at Northern Farm Land.


Randall Fessenden of DarkBlue died at Somerset Arena.


Vanessa Green of Dust Trolls died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Richard Pope of Z Mans died at Gates of Somerset.


Wendy Bangs of Stucky and the Bit Pigs died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Milton Walker of Whitecross died at Road to Elmsfield.


Prince Paradise of Order of Dagon died at Once Upon a Town.


`Boooom` Paul Crittenden of Fifth Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


Pilar Day of S.S.S. died at The Pits.



Most Active Gangs

Our team have been out all month, tirelessly visiting every deathsport event and interviewing incoming caravans to figure out just who are the most busy gangs in Evan right now.

The most active gang on the deathsport circuit has been Cavefish. Their most favoured type of event has been the deathrace, although they have also competed in numerous combat events.

Out of town, the most busy squads have been:
1. Earthshakers, owned by Highway Hellriders.
2. MH Camp Scout, owned by MADHAT.
3. Firelight Ministry of Tourism, owned by Drive Backwards BFFs.
4. Panic, owned by v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s..
5. Berns Runners, owned by The BAMFs.



Prizes Leaderboard

This list shows just who has been winning the most lucrative prizes on the circuits and arenas of Evan, during the past month.

1. Joels Bastards: $588076.
2. 12th Street Bangers: $557300.
3. Road Lords: $426357.
4. 5ive Crew: $369016.
5. Damage Incorporated: $359820.

Deathsport Leagues

The major leagues are nearly concluded, and with the title races hotting up, here are the current favourites:

Evan Race Ladder - Highway Hellriders
Evan Deathrace Ladder - MADHAT
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - an0maly
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - an0maly

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Gateway Pedestrian Combat League - Joels Bastards
Somerset Combat League - an0maly



First Blood


by Forsaken


`Time to get our feet wet,` said Tracey `Macho` McGuire, leader of 4saken`s Sarsfield crew.

Their first run in Sars would use all the resources available to them. Their apache, still in its Badlands configuration, a 4.0 phoenix fitted with only an HMG, and all 5 of the crew the gang had in the town, himself included.

The apache, `Badpache` as they called it, would do most of the work. The phoenix would serve to sew confusion and work the flanks. Simple enough.

In theory anyway.

Five enemies. The terrain seemed easy enough to work with. But somehow the plan never worked out. Just too many of them, too much firepower hitting again and again. Soon enough the pirates had the two vehicles split up, each fighting for their lives.

The apache was a mess. The armor was hardy enough to take another machine gun hit, let alone survive the full onslaught of a fresh antagonist. To make things worse, one of the pirates who had been playing dead to some degree was now intending to use his remaining machine gun to turn the tide of battle.

Meanwhile the phoenix was no better. It had been in a dogfight with two enemy pheonixes and a pickup to boot. Albert Sterns, having only recently qualified for his heavy gunner spec, was on the HMG, and Paula Warren, a new recruit, was behind the wheel.

One of the pirates was down but at the price of the nix`s right side armor. And aside from the front, there wasn`t much armor left to speak of elsewhere, for that matter. It was all Paula could do to see through the engine smoke and still drive.

`Just keep driving,` said Albert.

`We`re dead if we keep driving!` she shouted over the sounds of the engine grinding and unrelenting gunfire behind them. Paula was new but she had already been through hell, having been the first in the gang to traverse the 1100+ miles from Badlands and report back. `Just let me turn on him! We can take him, front`s still in good shape.`

`No, the pickup`s too close. He`ll tear us to shreds even if we can fight the other one.` It was a hard thing for Albert to admit. His trigger finger was really itching to finish this. And it would only be a matter of time before the pirates` phoenix caught up. If they could just make it a little farther. Maybe he would slide out, or maybe he was out of ammo, or maybe the Badpache could finish up with it`s combat and come to the rescue.

Up until now Albert was always the front gunner on the `pache. It was so safe and inviting, even in the hell of the badlands, compared to this flimsy deathtrap, he thought to himself. All he could do was hope for the best and try to keep himself calm.

McGuire was calling through the radio, his voice barely recognizable over the ever-present distortion of the auroras.

`in real trouble here... you`re on your own... get yourselves out of there...`

Just then a good burst flew into them, the bullets slamming into various things on the inside of the cabin. The engine changed pitch again, lower still. The enemy car had just crested a hill, finally getting a clean shot on them. There was nowhere to hide now.

`I`m hit!` called Paula. Albert looked back to her side of the car. Blood was spattered across the inside of the windscreen and she had a frightened look on her face. He checked his gun. It hadn`t been damaged.

Albert didn`t even say anything. He just nodded to her, once, purposefully.

Paula jammed the wheel hard, pulling the car into what was almost a 60mph T-stop. The enemy tried to follow suit but was a hair to late and too fast. Albert jammed the gun as far over as it would go, waiting for the shot. He could see the expression on the other driver`s face. Their side was open to them. They had been made.

Paula guided the front of the car like pointing a finger, and Albert laid down on the trigger, tracking the enemy car with its bullets. The phoenix armor was no match for sustained fire from an HMG and it was not long before he could see shrapnel flying around inside their car.

They finally got their fresh rear armor to protect them and Albert risked a glance back towards the pickup. They would have a few seconds more time, it looked like.

Albert steeled his jaw and kept laying into them. `Just a little more, we almost have them!`

Just then his gun went dry. Reflexively he reached back for the clip from his custom made rig. His hand only met jagged metal.

`Crap, we`re out! That`s it. Finished. Get us the hell out of here!`

Paula had the perfect kill lined up. They were almost close enough to ram. She cursed then pulled the wheel hard. The enemy Flame riddled them with more bullets from its rear gun, but they somehow manged to get some intervening terrain in the way to save them.

`Circle all the way around this crater,` he said. `It`s the only chance we got.`

`This engine doesn`t have much left in it,` she said grimly.

Albert checked up on the other crew. They were in a world of troubles of their own. Albert wished them luck. It was really all he could do.

Paula had done a good bit of clever avoiding to try to minimize the effect of the pickup but the Flame, rather than chase them around the hill, had turned to try to cut them off.

Albert had heard tales of what a car rife round could do to an exposed crewman but he had never witnessed it firsthand. Just as he heard the impossibly loud Crack! of the gun`s retort Paula`s head flew apart and blood splattered everywhere.

Albert blinked a few times. Paula`s body slumped forward and jammed the steering wheel to one side, sending the car into a lazy death-spiral, engine crippled, weaponless, and with almost no armor left and enemies all about.

Albert sat back and sighed. Then, having really nothing better to do, he climbed over and tried to take over driving. He did his best not to look out the windows. Maybe if he covered his eyes, he thought, they would go away.

Some time later that week, or so it seemed, he was behind the wheel. He had been talking with McGuire on the handheld, perhaps. They had managed to outsmart the Antag, and having a rear gun didn`t hurt either. So there was still some hope there.

Albert was driving, more or less. Scenery was still moving by. He wasn`t alone. There was a pickup and another phoenix along for the ride as well. He would see if he could lose them on this bad spot on the side of of the path. It looked nasty. A car could get caught in there and not drive out, he thought to himself. Wonder if I can make it? Let`s see if they can follow me.

A machine gun burst to the inside of his vehicle woke up from his daze. It missed him, but ripped into the engine. On the bright side, he actually had ran along the edge of the drop-off, and one of the enemies had already slid down. Now for the other. Just then McGuire came through on the radio.

`status?`

Albert shook himself alert and answered, `not good, boss.. still alive... car trashed... one more chasing...` He couldn`t figure out if he had already told McGuire about Paula`s death. The enemy Flame was starting to work its way out of the pit. Albert started looking for a good place to bail out and take up a position with his rifle, like `Macho` McGuire had had to do on the last scout. Albert made it a point to always carry four clips. McGuire had used up two.

The engine lurched on, a cylinder or two firing just enough to keep it rolling. He wasn`t sure it would make it to a safe spot for him to bail to in time. Still, for the moment at least, it was going faster than he could run, so he held with it a little longer.

The Flame was out. Albert held his breath. There would be no chance of outrunning it. It pulled forwards toward him, then slowed and turned back. They had had enough as well. Their crew could not be feeling good either. He had seen the blood on their windows. They had taken their parting shots, but they didn`t have any fight left in them.

Albert called back, `evaded... you guys still there?.. trying to escape...`

`yeah, we`re making our way out... try to save the car... [garbled] all we have... can`t fight if get jumped again... see you at gates...`

`see you at gates` he called into the mic.

There was a bit of downhill and the car still had its momentum. It looked like he could get far enough away that he could duck somewhere and wait until it was safe to try to carry on.

At least until they got to the Sarsfield gates. Pirates were known to lay in wait there for returning gangs such as his.

But, in the meantime, he was alive.

`You did good, kid,` he said, slapping Paula`s corpse on the shoulder. `Real good.`

She was still warm to the touch.



Political Update

Relations between the Civs and Merchants have cooled somwehat, following allegations of price-fixing in the food market - the Civs allege that the welfare of their citizens is being disregarded by the naked profiteering of the Merchants.



Pimp My Rustbucket

The most well-known vehicles currently active in Evan are listed below. Have you seen these vehicles out on da streets?

1. Flailing Demon owned by -^-HellRazors-^-.
2. Beholder owned by Highway Hellriders.
3. Flailing Demon owned by -^-HellRazors-^-.
4. Burning Death owned by the mad mad crushers.
5. Bronx Cheer owned by MADHAT.
6. Buzz 2 owned by the mad mad crushers.
7. L L owned by Special Circumstances .
8. Shai Hulud owned by Luna Sea.
9. Puma 00 owned by Madd Hatters.
10. Flailing Demon owned by -^-HellRazors-^-.
11. Lattes Revenge owned by Lattes Raiders.
12. Puma 01 owned by Madd Hatters.
13. Buzzhard owned by Guns Gears Getaway.
14. Backdraft owned by The Paranoid Tourists.
15. Joe Boomer owned by Joels Bastards.

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.