Nov/Dec
2053
Joels Bastards Win Somerset Combat League

The Somerset Combat League finished, with Joels Bastards taking the overall victory and a prize of $240000. The runners-up were Carne Muerta, and finishing in third place overall were Paladins.

Joels Bastards Win Gateway Pedestrian Combat League

The Gateway Pedestrian Combat League finished, with Joels Bastards taking the overall victory and a prize of $175000. The runners-up were Holy Mutant Death Squad , and finishing in third place overall were Rebels.

`Hey Boss, Look What I Found.`

`Hey Boss, look what I found.`
Enrique Oquendo hurried into Dexter`s. His youthful face shone with enthusiasm and pride. In his hands he held a small rectangular object, wrapped in a bloodied shirt.


Illustrations-by-Steve-McGhee

`Sorry for the mess, boss. Didn`t have anything else to protect it from the dust, and I figured Xena`s cohort didn`t need this anymore. But we were out scouting in the dunes, you know, those burnt-out buildings by the oasis. Me and the boys were jumped, but good. Nailed them after a long fight, you shoulda seen Marcus`s sniping, what a doozy...` Enrique`s voice faltered as Amy Banuelos started to drum her fingers on the table. `Yeah, so we won, and I checked out the buildings. Found this. Reckon you needed to see it pronto.`

Reverentially, Enrique placed the object on the table in front of Amy Banuelos and unwrapped it. Sleek, metallic, ultra-thin.

`Ta-dah,` said Enrique. `I present you with an... Orange.`

`An orange?` said Amy. `Damned strangest orange I ever saw.`

`No, no, Enrique`s right,` said `Earl` Hickey, the group`s mechanic. `I`ve heard of these things. Back in the day, they were the repository of all wisdom and knowledge. Ask them anything, anything at all, and they`d tell you the answer.`

`Like how to destroy Xena once for all,` asked Amy, her interest piqued.

`Well, I don`t know about that,` said Earl. `Mebbe it only works for stuff that was real then, you know, before the Apocalypse.`

`Can you get it working?` asked Amy.

`Dunno. I`ll need to cadge some time on the generators from Dexter, find some way to get power into the device. Give me some time.`

`Do it,` ordered Amy. `If this device is as powerful as you say, we can use it to clean up Somerset.`

Earl reached across to pick up the ultra-thin package.

`Oh and by the way, I don`t think it was called an Orange.` Amy traced her finger around the image on the glossy, reflective surface.

`I think they called it an Apple.`

Story by Valiance - The Vanguards

Lattes Raiders Win Evan Race Ladder

The Evan Race Ladder finished, with Lattes Raiders taking the overall victory and a prize of $90000. The runners-up were Joels Bastards, and finishing in third place overall were Initial Drift.

Joels Bastards Win Evan Deathrace Ladder

The Evan Deathrace Ladder finished, with Joels Bastards taking the overall victory and a prize of $90000. The runners-up were Arbiters, and finishing in third place overall were PerfectDrifters.

Road Debris Win Evan Arena Combat Ladder

The Evan Arena Combat Ladder finished, with Road Debris taking the overall victory and a prize of $90000. The runners-up were Highway Hellriders, and finishing in third place overall were Shattered-n-Bloody.

Collision Force Win Evan Paintball Combat Ladder

The Evan Paintball Combat Ladder finished, with Collision Force taking the overall victory and a prize of $75000. The runners-up were Longos Merry Men, and finishing in third place overall were Street Pizza.

Blasts From The Past

How Competitions used to be staged in Evan


Illustration By Dr Mathias


Well Known Vehicles Of Evan

The most well-known vehicles currently active in Evan are listed below. Have you seen these vehicles out on da streets?
Image by Grograt

1. Flailing Demon owned by -^-HellRazors-^-.
2. Buzzer Surprise owned by Riotous Assembly.
3. L L owned by Special Circumstances .
4. Jasmine owned by Collision Force.
5. Shai Hulud owned by Luna Sea.
6. Flailing Demon owned by -^-HellRazors-^-.
7. gw buzz owned by the mad mad crushers.
8. Backdraft owned by The Paranoid Tourists.
9. Buzzhard owned by Guns Gears Getaway.
10. Lattes Revenge owned by Lattes Raiders.
11. Slackowglass owned by S.S.S..
12. REAPING MAULER owned by Lattes Raiders.
13. REAPING MAULER owned by KLINGON GIRL SCOUTS.
14. CAMP TRAINER owned by KLINGON GIRL SCOUTS.
15. Be All owned by The Paranoid Tourists.



Riotous Assembly Win Gateway Winter Meltdown League

The Gateway Winter Meltdown League finished, with Riotous Assembly taking the overall victory and a prize of $60000. The runners-up were Joels Bastards, and finishing in third place overall were PA Racers.

Most Wanted


The most wanted gangs in Evan today are listed below. The bounty listed for each gang is a combination of the amount offered by local vigilante groups and by disgrunted individuals, and represents the amount of money you would expect to be paid for each senior member of the gang you kill.

1. Butane Somerset: 439.
2. The Parrotheads Shantyville: 261.
3. The Replicants Shantyville: 255.
4. Sons Of The Confederacy Texan: 135.
5. Third Avenue Mutilators Gateway Truckstop: 132.
6. King Cobras Badlands Truckstop: 125.
7. The Rangers Texan: 117.
8. Death Or Taxes Gateway Truckstop: 111.


 

 


Marc Shannon of PA Racers died at Gates of Somerset.


`Sweet Banana` Emma Santiago of Produce_Vendors died at Northern Farm Land.


Gary `The Butcher` Dick of an0maly died at Gates of Somerset.


Jesse `Red Neck` Harrell of Longos Merry Men died at Forever Yellow Skies.


`Lieutenant` Kevin Boyett of Longos Merry Men died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Mary `PMS` Rosol of CryptKeepers died at Road to Somerset.


Muriel Harvey of shadowguard died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Mark Wilson of shadowguard died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Richard Shelton of shadowguard died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Ida `Spider` Webb of CryptKeepers died at Gates of Somerset.


Robert `Filet Mignon` Cook of CryptKeepers died at Gates of Somerset.


`Mad` Margaret Whitaker of Kamels died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Maynard Fenton of Carbon Thieves died at Northern Farm Land.


`Lil` Lili Li of Carbon Thieves died at Northern Farm Land.


Cathy `Cracker` Graham of Ultra Catharsis died at The Pits.


Michael Purvis of MADHAT died at Road to Somerset.


Beverly `The Big Gun` Autrey of The Groove Champions died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Richard `East` Molina of Harlequins Fortune died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Leroy `Loves` Llamas of CryptKeepers died at Smokey Hills.


Donald `The General` Lee of CryptKeepers died at Smokey Hills.


`Wild` James West of Meat-Popsicles died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Xavier `X` McKinney of Mambas Maniacs died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Brian Sullivan of Dachshunds died at Gateway Interstate Figure 8.


Roland `Man of Evan` Evins of Street Pizza died at The Pits.


Troy Ford of Whitecross died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


Kevin Perez of MADHAT died at Northern Farm Land.


Darlene Foss of Anarchist Relief Front died at Double Down Arena.


Gretchen Hood of Slips Streamers died at Somerset Arena.


Billy Boner of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Lost Oasis.


Jan `Tick Face` Taggart of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Lost Oasis.


Lorenzo Boggs of Crazy Canucks died at Lost Oasis.


Elizabeth Lawson of The 4saken died at Scattered Grounds.


`krazy` Kenneth Lam of thebills died at Shantyville.


Robert `killer` Miller of thebills died at Road to Somerset.


Robert Wright of The Bots died at Lost Oasis.


Juanita `Bones` Sander of Whiskey Runners died at Highway to Hell.


`Plain` Jane Marek of Whiskey Runners died at Highway to Hell.


Emma Mansfield of Whiskey Runners died at Highway to Hell.


Michael Larson of Dogpack died at Lost Oasis.


Christa `Prissy` Purcell of Scarzams Dragoons died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Michael `The Pig` Piggott of Scarzams Dragoons died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Glen Butts of Psygang died at Gates of Somerset.


`Merry` Perry Bland of thebills died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


`Crashin`` David Poirier of Orions Blades died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Michael `lives down` Rhodes of Rezeaks Racers died at Once Upon a Town.


Ronald Schwartz of Collision Force died at Gates of Texan.


Dallas Dabney of Tangos Terrors died at Double Down Arena.


Gabriela Gabbard of Tangos Terrors died at Double Down Arena.


Christopher `Rock` Rollins of Marloks died at Gates of Somerset.


William `Willie` Santiago of Dogpack died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Shonda `SS` Scott of Guidos Hitmen died at Road to Elmsfield.


Rob `Machinehead` Flinn of Damage Incorporated died at The Pits.


John Amos of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at The Pits.


Terri `Nurse` Erickson of Madd Hatters died at Road to Somerset.


Leon `Rain` Jones of Madd Hatters died at Road to Somerset.


Joseph `Snowman` Taul of Madd Hatters died at Road to Somerset.


Nina `PayDay` Payne of Crazy Canucks died at Once Upon a Town.


`Ave` Maria Buehler of Infinite Improbabilities died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Stephen Gonzales of DarkBlue died at Double Down Arena.


Sandra `Cyborg` Cosby of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Somerset Arena.


Russell Mueller of entropy police died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Mel Gibson of an0maly died at Northern Farm Land.


Pamela Chisolm of an0maly died at Northern Farm Land.


Iona Davis of an0maly died at Northern Farm Land.


James Kennedy of The Fatalistics died at Gates of Somerset.


Cole Yee of The Agency died at Once Upon a Town.


James `Straw` Berry of Hard Ass Racing died at Road to Elmsfield.


Michael Sykes of Anarchist Relief Front died at Somerset Arena.


Joseph Cortez of S.S.S. died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Dale Epp of S.S.S. died at Forever Yellow Skies.


James Rondeau of S.S.S. died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Elaine `chickboy` Lee of thebills died at Shantyville.


James `the animal` Bayles of thebills died at Shantyville.


Kenneth Fountain of thebills died at Shantyville.


Marie `super` Cooper of thebills died at Shantyville.


Jeffrey Williams of Iron Rooks died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Blanca Patten of Burdens Heavyweights died at Southern Plateau.


Robin Hood of Triumph died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Edward Jordan of Triumph died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


Richard Bates of PA Racers died at The Pits.


Victor `Patch` Nutting of Firelight Womenhunters died at Devils Fingers.


Charles Moore of Firelight Womenhunters died at Devils Fingers.


Betty Johnson of The Dionysian Dozen died at Northern Farm Land.


Edward Wood of Orions Blades died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Paul `Rocker` Robinson of The Black Legion died at Gates of Somerset.


Queen Hastings of The Bots died at Gates of Somerset.


Bridget Weldon of Infinite Improbabilities died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Zack Dziedzic of The Mangled Horde died at Road to Somerset.


Karl Russell of The Agency died at Northern Speedway.


Samuel Ford of Collision Force died at The Pits.


Gary `Destroyer` Branham of Comanche died at Gates of Somerset.


Mark Smit of Freewheel Burning died at Scattered Grounds.


John Jones of Big Liver died at Pathway to Darkness.


Levi Tyson of Big Liver died at Pathway to Darkness.


Troy `` Tester of Crazy Canucks died at Telegraph Road.


Kelly King of Crazy Canucks died at Telegraph Road.


Barry `the Pied` Piper of Carne Muerta died at Telegraph Road.


Richard `Hop Along` Meredith of Carne Muerta died at Telegraph Road.


Edward `Your Death` Yingst of Feeding Frenzy died at Double Down Arena.


Timothy Lawless of Headspace and Timing died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3.


Belinda Smith of entropy police died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


`Nasty` Nathan Noga of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Gates of Sarsfield.


Sarah `Watermy` Flowers of Riotous Assembly died at The Pits.


Jeremy Johnson of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at Gates of Somerset.


Nicole Owens of Triumph died at Road to Somerset.


Jeff `coked-out` Karas of Feeding Frenzy died at Gateway, Whirlwind.


Edward Marks of Feeding Frenzy died at Gateway, Whirlwind.


Kevin Peterson of Feeding Frenzy died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1.


Susan Lafountain of Whitecross died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Judson McKinney of Hard Ass Racing died at Road to Somerset.


Jodi Green of Hard Ass Racing died at Road to Somerset.


Paul Wint of Anarchist Relief Front died at Acid Land.


Paul Boettcher of Mirrored Pain died at The Pits.


Guy Ruiz of Midville MONDOs died at Gates of Somerset.


Ruby Omar of Collision Force died at Road to Somerset.


`Spic` Ricardo Brannum of Kamels died at Gates of Somerset.


Hoyt Nelson of Urban Achievers died at Gates of Somerset.


Stacee Davis of Urban Achievers died at Blown With the Wind.


Frank Gonzalez of Knights of the Round Tire died at Road to Elmsfield.


Alton `Archer` Ross of CryptKeepers died at Highway to Hell.


Jesse Navarro of Headspace and Timing died at Somerset Dirt Racing Track.


Olga Krueger of Iron Rooks died at Road to Somerset.


Ellen `Ellie Mae` Collins of MADHAT died at Road to Somerset.


Oliver Tapia of MADHAT died at Road to Somerset.


Joseph Vasquez of MADHAT died at Road to Somerset.


Sylvia `Shades` Anderson of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at The Pits.


Earl Clark of the mad mad crushers died at Blown With the Wind.


Michele Nowicki of Triumph died at Gates of Somerset.


`Medic` Albert Williams of Feeding Frenzy died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Justin `Mickey Mouse` Myers of Bujinkan died at Northern Farm Land.


Louis Doyle of shadowguard died at Gates of Somerset.


Janelle Freitag of shadowguard died at Gates of Somerset.


Derek Brown of Crazy Canucks died at Gates of Somerset.


Stephen Hare of Crazy Canucks died at Gates of Somerset.


Rudolph `Rude Rudy` Ryan of Rebels died at Gateway Interstate Arena.


Sharon Hunt of Joels Bastards died at Gateway Interstate Arena.


Pablo `loy` Loy of dark impakt died at Once Upon a Town.


Lenore Crafton of Rezeaks Racers died at Gates of Texan.


Matthew `GatMan` Lokey of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Blown With the Wind.


`Chief` Miles O`Brian of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Blown With the Wind.


Jasmin Wright of Paladins died at Blown With the Wind.


Eric `Machine Gun` Moore of Hard Ass Racing died at Once Upon a Town.


Evelyn Anderson of Hard Ass Racing died at Once Upon a Town.


Chelsea Flores of Hard Ass Racing died at Once Upon a Town.


Terrell `Dead as Hell` Sheppard of Anarchist Relief Front died at Blown With the Wind.


Kelsie Graham of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Blown With the Wind.


Raymond `Just` Adcox of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Blown With the Wind.


Bert Allgood of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Blown With the Wind.


Annie Oakley of Holy Mutant Death Squad died at Gateway Interstate Arena.


Ana McCown of Crazy Canucks died at Road to Elmsfield.


Edward Jones of Izzys Irregulars died at Gates of Elmsfield.


`King` Hong Brummitt of Izzys Irregulars died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Crystal Smith of Vindicators of the Damned died at Somerset Arena.


Brian Gaier of Rampaging Sockmonkeys died at The Pits.


`cookie` Kristi Matthews of Anarchist Relief Front died at Highway to Hell.


William Dodd of PA Racers died at Road to Somerset.


Chris Perkins of Collision Force died at Scattered Grounds.


James Hinkle of The Fatalistics died at Lost Oasis.


Alexander `Firelighter` Donati of Mirrored Pain died at The Maze.


Brock `DOUBLE B` Bosworth of Mirrored Pain died at The Maze.


Daisy `Bullet` Speed of Ultra Catharsis died at Lonesome Highway.


Juan Boggs of Feeding Frenzy died at Northern Desert Circuit.


`Ghost` Donny Roche of dustdevils died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Charles `Sneaky` Metzinger of Feeding Frenzy died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Frederick Valadez of The Mangled Horde died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Neal Gomez of shadowguard died at Road to Somerset.


Ruben Burrage of Feeding Frenzy died at The Pit.


Derrick `Dick` Tracy of Mambas Maniacs died at The Pit.


Mary Horst of Collision Force died at The Pit.


Charlene Gage of Mambas Maniacs died at Gates of Somerset.


Chad `The Man` Manzo of Feeding Frenzy died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Estela `DORKY MANIAC` Williams of Mirrored Pain died at The Pits.


Aaron `BLACK SMITH` Smith of Mirrored Pain died at The Pits.


`Earless Ass` Courtney Kilgore of Mirrored Pain died at The Pits.


Audrey `Audie` Johnson of Rebels died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


Melvin `Melvinator` Bennette of Rebels died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop.


`Coops` Jason Cooper of Crazy Canucks died at Interstate Mythos.


Scotty `Saves` King of Crazy Canucks died at Interstate Mythos.


Melvin `Burger` Barger of The Black Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


`Rocking` Rose Ramirez of The Black Legion died at Northern Farm Land.


`Darth` Brandon Jones of rancid brothers died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2.


Katie You of Thrill Kill Kult died at Road to Somerset.


Brenda Porterfield of CryptKeepers died at Once Upon a Town.


Frank `Fire Man` Morris of Hard Ass Racing died at Road to Elmsfield.


Laura Carter of Hard Ass Racing died at Lost Oasis.


Paul Jordan of Something else died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Ernesto Dickerson of Something else died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Gary Mabon of thebills died at Gates of Somerset.


James Delrio of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Road to Elmsfield.


Jean Ledford of DarkBlue died at Lost Oasis.


Frank James of Triumph died at Interstate Mythos.


Diane Cole of the mad mad crushers died at Interstate Mythos.


Tim Baxter of Hard Ass Racing died at Interstate Mythos.


Daniel Lopez of DarkBlue died at Double Down Arena.


Joseph Hutchinson of The Black Legion died at Gates of Somerset.


David Roscoe of Road Lords died at Elmsfield Lake Track.


Stephen Harris of Orions Blades died at Gates of Somerset.


William `Lucky` Watson of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at The Pits.


`The new` Edward New of v.i.n.d.i.c.a.to.r.s. died at The Pits.


Jerry `Mender` Berger of Orions Blades died at Dead man`s Road.


Leon `60` Watts of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pits.


Robert Moore of The Black Legion died at Forever Yellow Skies.


Irene Burchfield of The Dionysian Dozen died at Gates of Somerset.


Maud Booze of shadowguard died at Blown With the Wind.


Travis Layman of shadowguard died at Road to Somerset.


William `Willy` Hannah of Burdens Heavyweights died at Gates of Somerset.


`Psycho` Doris Baldwin of Sons Of Samedi died at Gates of Somerset.


Ralph Lister of Orions Blades died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop.


William Kent of Feeding Frenzy died at The Pit.


Luke `Peg Leg` Tucker of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pit.


Anthony `Crazy legs` French of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pit.


John Gulley of Desert Patrol died at Northern Farm Land.


Joseph Casey of Desert Patrol died at Northern Farm Land.


`Funky` Felicia Groover of The Deathrace Pirates died at Somerset Rally Circuit.


Roger Gordon of The Fatalistics died at Under a Bloody Red Sky.


Jack Tores of Sphincter Wrinkles died at Forever Yellow Skies.


`Who is` Walter Batista of Burdens Heavyweights died at Gates of Somerset.


Laura Nagy of Dramamine died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night).


Archie Villarreal of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at The Pits.


Ernest `40 pieces of ` Silva of Coolerheads died at Maure Dore.


Michael White of Anarchist Relief Front died at Gates of Somerset.


Lance Crisler of Whitecross died at Road to Elmsfield.


Roland Moore of Whitecross died at Road to Elmsfield.


Christopher Finch of Collision Force died at The Pits.


Ricardo Scott of Collision Force died at The Pits.


Clyde Carr of Collision Force died at Gates of Texan.


Brett Thompson of Triumph died at Road to Somerset.


Norman Carlyle of Triumph died at Road to Somerset.


Betty Sawyer of CryptKeepers died at Blown With the Wind.


Eugenio Weber of Anarchist Relief Front died at Pathway to Darkness.


Rachel Moritz of Anarchist Relief Front died at Pathway to Darkness.


Loretta `lottie` Brewer of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pits.


`We`re Even` Steven Choi of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pits.


Florence Andrew of headXplode died at Pathway to Darkness.


William McGuinness of The Fatalistics died at Once Upon a Town.


Lawrence Rojas of The Fatalistics died at Once Upon a Town.


Jesus Adair of Guidos Hitmen died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop.


Lacey Melton of CryptKeepers died at Northern Farm Land.


David Gardner of Anarchist Relief Front died at Gates of Elmsfield.


Ronald Dawkins of Paladins died at Northern Farm Land.


Tina Watson of The Vermin died at Gates of Somerset.


Justin Schulz of The Vermin died at Northern Farm Land.


John `Tater Salad` Gordon of Tangos Terrors died at Lost Oasis.


Gail `Deadeye` Gable of Tangos Terrors died at Lost Oasis.


Justin Lambert of shadowguard died at Lost Oasis.


Sheila Schwartz of entropy police died at Northern Desert Circuit.


Ivan Welch of BD And Sons died at The Pit.


Rob `Patch` Nichols of Headspace and Timing died at Road to Elmsfield.


Stephen `Fox` Trott of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pits.


`she`s armless` Sharlene Johnson of Rezeaks Racers died at The Pits.


Anita Rudisill of Thrill Kill Kult died at Northern Farm Land.


Stuart `Loops` Parkin of Headspace and Timing died at Northern Farm Land.


Guillermo `Jimmy` Hendrix of Sons Of Samedi died at Road to Somerset.


Peter Smith of The Spudmen died at Scattered Grounds.


Louis Lambert of Big Liver died at Gates of Somerset.



Big Time Professional

In the past month, the most prolific gang on the Professional deathsport circuit has been Joels Bastards, having competed in 14 events. Are these guys intent on getting famous, or are they just in it for the money?
WE WANT BOTH MUHAHAHAHA - JA
Evan Leagues

The major leagues are nearly concluded, and with the title races hotting up, here are the current favourites:

Evan Race Ladder - Initial Drift
Evan Deathrace Ladder - Joels Bastards
Evan Arena Combat Ladder - Road Debris
Evan Paintball Combat Ladder - Collision Force

In addition, the leaders of the minor leagues are:

Gateway Pedestrian Combat League - Holy Mutant Death Squad
Somerset Combat League - Joels Bastards



Political Update

Relations between the Civs and Merchants have cooled somwehat, following allegations of price-fixing in the food market - the Civs allege that the welfare of their citizens is being disregarded by the naked profiteering of the Merchants.



New Gang In Town

Part 4 : A Story Submitted By
JS - Guidos Hitmen


Illustration By *Sam*

Every now and again a person comes to a pivotal point in their life. There may be several depending on the circumstances, or the person, and the results can be good, or bad, or some of both. What is almost always true is the sap who is entering that pivotal moment rarely sees it coming. They also typically take it right between the eyes. Knox was about to experience one of his pivotal points. Sadly, and naturally, he had no idea life was about to run him down. Not a clue.
Opening the door to the Family`s shared living quarters Knox Thurston was struck by two things. First, it was full of people, the majority of the family must have been stuffed into the small living, meeting and mission planning area. It was fairly heaving with humanity, or so it seemed considering the modest size of the room. The second, and actually more obvious thing he noticed was the racket they were generating, being that all of them were talking at once, and at the same time. And loudly, getting louder it appeared. At first, no one noticed him step through the doorway. He could not make out exactly who all was there, though oddly he knew at once his sister was not. Knox could easily identify Zito the stumpy trolls voice, which was only barely outdone by Schultz`s in volume.
Those two worthies were in the middle of the crowd, fingers in each others chests and fairly painting each others face with spit, screaming, arguing and jostling one another. Knox did note that at least those two waited for the other to stop before launching into more insults. The rest of the unruly crowd were seemingly talking to everyone and no one at once. This was not cool, not at all, Knox saw the last shred of his good day mood slough off and float down onto the dusty floor, where it was immediately trampled.
Even worse than that. The entire lot of them noticed him at the same time. There was a temporary truce in the battle, but it was like the pause before the gathering storm. As soon as it registered who had walked in, they all began once again. Unfortunately for Knox, it was all directed at him. More alarmingly, both Zito and Schultz came at him like two hounds on the scent, nearly knocking each other over and Schultz actually did topple a chair on his way. They came at him in a babble of curses, accusations and shoving, both very obviously trying to get their story out first.
Knox was shell shocked, he did not deal well with this stuff, Dory took care of general insurrections and mass insanity, not him. The closest he came to arbitrating arguments and making decisions was deciding what to wear in the morning. He usually won that argument. He avoided most others, choices and arguments. This was new to him. Especially the part where they were looking at him as if they needed to talk to him, well they were looking at him and yelling at him, he assumed they wanted to tell him something. Knox wondered why they might be so interested in him and not Dory, so he asked the question he already knew he dreaded asking.
`Where`s Dory`?
He asked in a what came out as a barely audible whisper. It would have been difficult to hear in a quiet room. Here it was brushed aside by the cacophony. So he tried again a little louder, taking a swallow and projecting.
`I said, where`s Dory`?
Zito was now grabbing him by the jacket and accusing Schultz of something which Knox did not catch, because he was looking at Zito`s grease smeared fingers rub unpleasantness on his good jacket as stumpy troll shook him and pointed his finger at Schultz, alternately pointing at one and then the other. That was about all Knox could take, sucking in a large breath, and with the adrenaline from worry and the uncomfortable situation he bellowed out a third, and final time, with a little emphasis added in the middle.
`Where the is DORY`?
Knox was not sure what effect he was going to get but he was not expecting the entire room to stop as if a thunderclap had boomed directly overhead and rattled the rafters. Later he would consider the event and generally consign it to adrenaline, but in the back of his mind he was unsure. But quiet was what he was shooting for at the moment and that is exactly what he got. Zito let go of his jacket and both he and Schultz stepped back, wide eyed and looking at him, their scuffling all but forgotten. Knox used the time and space to gather his wits, the few he had to muster at the time, and asked Schultz again, calmly this time, where Dory was.
Schultz was supposed to go on a raider hunt with her last night, some vets they hooked up with at Dexter`s that day had a `plan` and they were recruiting for an ad hoc squadron. The locals often banded together in loosely organized raids on the various waste pirates. Dory was not completely enthused about giving command to an unknown person but they all knew the Family was not yet ready to go it alone. The scout boasted he knew where some of the reavers that plagued the Somerset area were holed up. It was supposed to be a small group, and they could score some good equipment. If they were lucky maybe a few decent vehicles. The Family needed the cars and equipment badly, so it was hard to turn down, and they didn`t. The guy had said it was a sure thing. It was then the realization of what had potentially happened hit Knox, square between the eyes of course. Schultz looked stricken, the red in his face replaced by white, while Zito stared at him as if to bore a hole through his skull with his glare. Knox had once seen a laser on a vehicle in the arena down south. It was owned by a very wealthy man who hired a rather nasty, and rather good, driver to fight it in the circuit. That gentleman had a bad habit of vaporizing people with the thing when they resigned the combat. It was markedly unsporting, and sadistic. Knox half expected Schultz to disappear in a similar haze of blood. Zito for his part would have been plainly overjoyed by that result. Schultz was obviously seeking the words to say something he desperately did not want to say. Zito was all to eager to help him.
`Seems Schultz here, may his rotten soul burn in hell, left Dory out in the wastes`. The comment was like a dagger through Knox`s chest. All the sudden he was dizzy and a bit nauseous. Schultz had recovered by then, and once again stabbed a large meaty finger at Zito. The red rushed right back into his face. Schultz was much larger than the stumpy little troll, regardless of the size difference Knox was concerned they were about start swinging. Schultz talked looking down at Zito.
`They were dead, I told you that, a hundred times, you were not there`!
Zito snarled back `Damn right fool, wouldn`t have happened had I been`! with a vehemence and a concern in his voice Knox had not heard from the man before. Actually, he had heard plenty of vehemence, the man practically oozed it. But the obvious concern was somewhat new to be sure.
Schultz was not phased and shot right back. `We got jumped by Butane tough guy, I hardly think you would have done better, Dory was there and she couldn`t do anything`.
Knox knew this path was going nowhere, he needed to know the facts, not rehash what was obviously a repeat performance of their prior argument. Scrambling for a way to get what he needed he tried a different tact. The spinning room also seemed to be picking up speed.
`Schultz, tell me what happened to Dory, Zito, zip it for a minute please`. He had no clue why he added please, Dory would never have done that. In fact, Dory might already have her .45 in their faces quick as a flash. But he was sadly not her, and that was the general problem right now.
`Take it from the top Schultz`.
Shultz consciously tried to composed himself and calm down. With an obvious effort he started. `Things were going fine, we moved out in good order and the scout had us, or he thought he had us, positioned well to take the reavers hideout, that`s when all hell broke loose`.
Schultz glanced over at the corner of the room behind him. Following his gaze, and with his eyes adjusted to the dim light inside by now, Knox noticed he was looking at Schultz`s gunner James Burrows. Jim was one of their best shooters, and one of the first to join his sisters cause here in Somerset. He was leaning against the back wall, arms folded and one foot propped on the wall behind him. There was no expression on his face though he was very clearly following the proceedings. Knox was not surprised, that was one cool as cat as they say, and very intelligent. Never talked unless he needed to, pretty much the opposite of Knox although they got along well enough. Knox talked constantly, and was hardly cool as a cat. Dory and Jim were very close, which irritated Knox for some reason he could not quite put a finger on.
Zito chimed in, he had a habit of that in the best of circumstances, let alone in contentious ones. `That`s when you lost your friggin mind`. Knox simply glared at Zito to shut him up, it was a technique he had seen big sis use, and unexpectedly it got results. Zito shut up, his jaw making a nearly audible click. Barely noticed by the three men the rest of the room had quieted down and all were watching the proceedings with interest. Schultz continued.
`We didn`t find the small gang we were looking for, seems Butane got there first, their lookouts were obviously better than the other gangs as they saw us coming, we got ambushed eight versus sixteen. It was a nightmare. Maybe it was even a set up, it was too perfect a trap but I have no idea who or why. Maybe one of the vets had a bounty on his head. I don`t know. The vets decided to slug it out and we had a predictable result for that little decision. Dory`s car took multiple machine gun strikes and flipped, but seemed ok until the little car with twin rocket launchers came out of nowhere and just vaporized the side armor`. Schultz swung towards Zito at that point. `And don`t say a damn thing about where I was, I was there in support, just like we train`. Jim was silent in the back of the room, Knox figured if that was a lie the level headed man would interject, but he kept quiet so Knox considered that affirmation of Schultz`s claim. It was life or death combat out there, all the training in the world sometimes fails to stop plain old bad luck. Of course, while getting ambushed is just bad luck, losing his sister in that ambush was a complete and utter catastrophe. Schultz continued.
`Knox, you have to understand, we were pulling out, the command was given and we were all disengaging. Next thing I know `Pedantic` is flipping through the air, flames were everywhere, and three reaver vehicles were between us and them`. `Pedantic` was the name he gave Dory`s first vehicle, well, the first up north here anyhow. Knox believed himself the creative force behind the family and so declared himself the Namer O` Vehicles. Most of the family weren`t exactly what one might call sentimental or romantic and could really care less what the cars were called. Given their druthers they would name the cars Death`s Head, or Child Skull Crusher, or some such other horrible and unimaginative thing. Knox did care what they were named, and well, Dory was an extremely pedantic person. It was another of his small eccentricities that he made little inside jokes of most things. He solemnly wished his sister were here displaying her pedantic skills right now.
Knox realized Shultz had said the word, `them`, they were actually down two souls as Dory had a gunner along of course. The room contained most of the family, as a result he did not know exactly who it was right now, several were no doubt out and about, some on courier missions, and a few in hospital. He could not remember who was supposed to go with her as she switched out so much to work with everyone. Knox knew that he should know who it was but he didn`t, a good leader would know, and that fact was unquestionably a telling one. He didn`t interject the question though, that could wait for now and more bad karma he did not need.
Schultz continued. `We tried to go back but the entire sodding squadron was bailing in every direction. It was a route like ya read about. Every man for himself`. Or every woman thought Knox, or more specifically every Dory for herself. Knox of course asked the obvious question.
`Did you go back after and try find her`? Schultz shook his head in the negative, his eyes dropped to the floor and Knox could almost see the man deflate in from of him. Zito was just about to lay into him and stopped himself. Simultaneously Schultz mumbled something about just being unable to go back, while Zito put his hand on the mans shoulder. The snarly little troll was full of surprises these days. Zito looked at Knox and spoke. `She ain`t dead till we see a body. No body, she ain`t dead. She`s too damn tough to die at the hands of those Butane scum`.
Knox appreciated greatly the brave and defiant words yet hardly believed them. Too many good people had lives snuffed too early in the wastes, many times in even more mundane situations than a car battle for him to think Dory was immune. His father was a great man, the best Knox had known in his short life, and he had fallen out there. No amount of wishful thinking, and he had a done more of that than he cared to remember, would bring them back. Schultz nearly whispered the next.
`No way Zito, no way they survived, you know I ain`t no rookie, I saw, my own eyes`. He paused, his head raising to look at Zito and Knox, a desperately haunted look in eyes and a shadow cast across his face, he was seeing, or reliving, something far away and unmistakably painful. Later, Knox would remember that stricken look and shivers would drive into his heart.
`Even if they did survive, Butane takes their captives to the pits...`. The last trailed off, Knox almost thought he heard the large man whimper slightly. He also remembered the rumor that Schultz had been a gladiator, had won his freedom by killing men and beasts, then made his way north. It explained his familiarity with hand to hand combat of all types. It also explained partially why he did not go back to check on Dory and her as yet unnamed gunner while there were known slavers between him and them.
Knox now knew what happened, or it was more correct to say he knew what he didn`t know. Dory was likely dead, at the least captured. Most of he and his sisters acquaintances these days were enemies. Butane was definitely the enemy, and in all likelihood they had her if she were alive. At which point she might want to be dead. Of course that was best case, way best case, it was an odds on favorite that she was with their father now. Wherever that might be. Despite Zito`s optimism, it just sounded that way. Knox was pole axed, he had no idea what to do. He`d used all his reserves to control the little verbal battle in the room, and now he was out of speed, out of ammo and out of ideas. The light feeling in his head was back in spades, and the room swam before him. Knox had never been one to take charge of a bad situation, he had a father and a hyper aggressive older sister for that. He was the creative guy, the mechanic messing around in the shop, the kid brother. This should not be happening, and it was probably not going to go well from here, not if he was in charge. And so it did not. Knox blacked out, crumpling as his knees fell out from under him, and toppling over backwards faster than anyone could stop him. Not that they could have stopped him, as he would find out later.
Knox woke up some time later, how long he had absolutely no idea but he knew it was not too long. He was on his back looking at the ceiling of the room. A couple of the family were fanning him when his eyes opened, then about half a second later he was slapped, and hard. That brought him back to the here and now rather quickly. It was Zito who had smacked him, and he was suddenly helping him up with Schultz` aid. the man was still talking for god`s sake.
`Kid, I don`t know what you`re about with all the mind games, but I`m telling you that Dory is alive, and I`m more sure than ever. I`m going to go find out about the roads to the south and talk to the vets that survived the ambush. We need info`. Grabbing Schultz by the collar he hauled both the larger man and himself to the door. Talking as he opened the door. `Be back in a few hours, rally the troops boss, we got work`.
Boss. The fool had called him boss. Knox wanted to groan out loud, he supposed the boss best not do that and so started shakily for the kitchen. He needed some water, or beer, or better yet, water, beer and a whisky. That should do nicely at this miserable point. Most of the Family had dispersed, apparently told by Zito to take a hike and carry on while the leadership made a plan. A few milled around, one moved to intercept him apparently intent on slowing down the massive drunk he felt coming on. Knox tried to ignore her and go around but she stepped in front of him. It was Martha Chamlee, the nurse, medic, or whatever she called herself. Some of the family called her Doc, but everyone knew she was far from that. Want an Asprin? Three of four times she could do that right. Knox got right to the point as she was hesitating to speak.
`What do you want Martha? I`m late for my pity party. Wouldn`t do to disappoint the man of the hour, me`. Knox said while pointing at himself with both thumbs. Martha smiled ever so slightly. It did nothing to help her frumpy mug. The woman was not really that old, but Knox thought she was nothing if not frumpy. Which added about ten years to her apparent age. She even managed to be slightly over weight and that was exceedingly rare in this day and age. Only the very rich were chubby for the most part. Knox idly wondered just how giant she might be if things were not so Spartan around the world these days. His thoughts were interrupted by Chamlee`s answer.
`Knox, do you know what just happened`? What a dumb question Knox thought, was this dim witted witch doctor not in the same room as he was when Schultz let fly that his sister was dead. Immediately followed by Zito the idiot refusing to accept the obvious?
`Yes, Dory is dead, Schultz is a coward, Zito is a moron, and we`re all boned, that sum up the recap for ya`? He knew that was too harsh as he said it, but patience was not his virtue at that point. Chamlee ignored his boorish answer.
`Not that, when you passed out, do you remember anything about that`? Knox didn`t, unless the headache he had counted as remembering. Actually, the back of his skull remembered all right. In fact his whole nugget remembered. He had a splitting headache. He apologized to Martha, she meant well and was trying to do her doctor thing.
`No, but I have a headache, and I know your name, so it`s not a concussion, or its a mild one at worst, you can give me some Asprin and I`ll call you in the morning`. He must be desperate, he just asked her for medical help albeit for fairly basic services.
Martha was not to be brushed off, as he tried to get around her she stepped in front of him again. `No, not that, we all passed out together`. Knox had no idea what the hell she meant, and told her so. `Knox, when you went down, we all had blinding pain, some fell to their knees, some passed out. Zito was flat on his back out as cold as you. Jim was the only person who had it worse, he`s still out of it`. Knox just looked at her. What was she talking about? What was this bizzaro-world claim?
`Martha, maybe is was some kind of sympathetic passing out thingy. You know, sympathetic hurlers, that kind of thing. You`re a medical, ah, person. Probably something like that`. Knox really wanted that to end it, no such luck.
`I know you think I`m a quack, but I`m telling you what happened, don`t believe me then ask the others. Zito told us to keep quiet, but I think it`s too important`. Martha waited, like she wanted to say something else. Knox took the tactical pause to make his move for the kitchen slipping by her and that spurred her to action. Grabbing his arm she turned him back toward her and nearly hissed the next.
`We saw her, all of us, we saw Dory. She`s somewhere south, some of us saw more, a small room, a prison of some kind, some people she seemed to know, and you know. Don`t tell me we`re making this up because about five minutes after it happened Demetria came tear assing into the building babbling about the very same things we`d seen. She wasn`t here last night, and didn`t know Dory was gone`. Martha let go of his arm. `You needed to know that, some of the family was freaked out. Zito wanted to ignore it as if it hadn`t happened, but we know it did. I know you have a lot heaped on you right now, but you had to know`.
Chamlee walked away. Knox stood, unmoving. Thing was, he did know, he had seen it. Why him? Why the weirdness of it? Couldn`t people just be killed without supernatural wackiness getting involved. One thing was for sure. Whatever power was at work it did not give him premonitions. It was very positively not going to be a good day.

Current DW Gazette Editors: Sam, Hati, Racing Robbie, Bastille, Rezeak, SmokeyKilla.