2056
| | Jan/Feb 2056 |
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Lamont Cardillo, gang leader of the River City Gamblers, strode into Dexter`s early one afternoon, when the bar was quiet and only a few drunks lazed about on the rough tables. Behind him, Bruce Ward, the coton-eyed mutant, staggered along, carrying a stack of boxes. The two of them made their way to the bar, adn Bruce plumped the boxes down on the countertop with a relieved sigh. `Hey, Dex, got something for you to check out.` `Dynamyite` Dexter, the owner and barkeep, looked up from where he was polishing the beer glasses. `What could you possibly have that I might be interested in, Lamont?` Lamont smiled, and the destroyed left half of his face ripped hideously. `I think you might like this one. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting around with the gang talking about how boring things can be here in Somerset. Some of the ladies came up with the idea of having a photoshoot and makign a calendar.` Lamont ripped open the top box and extracted a floppy calendar. He handed it to Dexter, who flipped through it and chuckled. `All right. This is interesting. But what you want from me?` `Simple,` said Lamont. `I want to sell them. I was hoping you could put up that complimentary copy here in your place, and keep a couple of boxes behind the counter. Sell them on commission for us.` Dexter nodded, still flipping through the calendar. `Sell them, eh? What`s the money for?` Lamont looked perplexed. `Money? What`s it for? Well...` he noticed Dexter giving him an odd look, and realized what he meant. `Oh, right. For the orphans. All the profits from sales of the calendar will go to the Somerset Orphan`s Fund.` Dexter flipped the calendar shut and nodded. `All right then, I`d be happy to help you sell them. Just leave those boxes there and I`ll put them in back. Dexter and Lamont shook hands, and the two Gamblers sauntered out of the bar. Dexter watched them go, then shook his head, laughing. He reached behind the bar and got a hammer and nail from a toolkit, then took the calendar to a section of the wall that wasn`t too filthy and hammered the calendar in place. `Let`s see how the townsfolk like this thing,` he muttered to himself, as he went back to polishing glasses.  
 Georgine Vail of The Meese died at Once Upon a Town. Jennifer McNabb of THERAPISTS died at Highway to Hell. Frank `Stig` Griggs of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Northern Farm Land. Daniel O`Brian of Paladins died at Northern Desert Circuit. Karen Robinson of Nightmares Edge died at Lost Oasis. Edward `Duct Tape` Buckley of rebelfishes died at Road to Somerset. Grover Killion of Warchild died at Gates of Somerset. Elvis Ramirez of Warchild died at Gates of Somerset. John Greenhalgh of THERAPISTS died at Smokey Hills. Andrew Craven of Paladins died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Rafael Chavez of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at The Maze. Dallas Weinmann of Crazy Canucks died at Highway to Hell. `Sticky` Ginger Honey of Scarytales died at Acid Land. Providencia `Point n Click` Maciejewski of Scarytales died at Acid Land. Cheryl `blood` Carpenter of b52s died at Northern Farm Land. Eugene Carter of Bullet Catchers Anomymous died at Northern Farm Land. Stanley Bowyer of Coolerheads died at Northern Farm Land. John George of TeaBaggerz died at Under a Bloody Red Sky. Lee `One Toe` Decker of Scarytales died at Northern Farm Land. `Sargeant` Keith Royal of Crazy Canucks died at Northern Farm Land. Donald `Biddy` Bradshaw of Crazy Canucks died at Northern Farm Land. Robert Owens of rebelfishes died at Road to Elmsfield. `Mister` Andrew Cobble of rebelfishes died at Road to Elmsfield. William `Large Bore` Bohrer of headXplode died at Gates of Somerset. Sherry Holstein of Company of Geeks died at Acid Land. Kenneth Long of Crazy Canucks died at Gates of Somerset. Clarence `Prybar` Leyva of rebelfishes died at Dead man`s Road. Ruben Brush of Triumph died at The Pit. Steven Taylor of Triumph died at The Pit. Linda Jackson of The Meese died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Helen `Mossy` Parker of The Vermin died at Lost Trail: Overland. `Suited Queens` Royal Titsworth of Abysmal Horrors died at Under a Bloody Red Sky. Michael `Lover` Newton of Abysmal Horrors died at Pathway to Darkness. Mark Stoner of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Shawn Price of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Xavier Clark of the mad mad crushers died at Gates of Somerset. Alice Comstock of Triumph died at Forever Yellow Skies. Jeanette Cortes of Maxxed Out died at Forever Yellow Skies. Carolyn Bowe of Maxxed Out died at Forever Yellow Skies. Christopher Wallace of nomad mercs died at Somerset Arena. Elizabeth Wolfe of b52s died at Telegraph Road. Mary Ward of b52s died at Telegraph Road. Juanita Vincent of CryptKeepers died at Road to Somerset. Ernest Christensen of The Mangled Horde died at The Pit. Richard `Blind-Fire` Cazares of Wasters died at Gates of Somerset. Richard `Swerve` Cheney of an0maly died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3. Ricardo Hahn of Scarzams Dragoons died at Double Down Arena. Caroline Townsend of Scarzams Dragoons died at Double Down Arena. `Doper` Joseph Price of Brave Companions died at Gates of Somerset. `Coldheart` Christina Frances of CryptKeepers died at Gates of Somerset. Mary Soares of shadowguard died at Under a Bloody Red Sky. `Saint` Lucia Torres of The Black Legion died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Wan Clark of the mad mad crushers died at Highway to Hell. David `Guitar God` Gilmour of Renshai died at Sandy. `Chuck` Barrie Dinger of Scarytales died at Northern Farm Land. Chase Smith of The Dionysian Dozen died at Double Down Arena. James `Hawkeye` Waldrop of Skids died at Road to Elmsfield. Roderick Jones of French Foreign Legion died at Lost Oasis. Jill `Filler` Up` Holbrook of TeaBaggerz died at Highway to Hell. `Joltin` Joe Anderson of rebelfishes died at Scattered Grounds. Robert Hendrickson of San Jose Baggers died at Double Down Arena. John `Hot Start` Davis of rebelfishes died at Scattered Grounds. Jose Reid of The Mollies died at Once Upon a Town. `Sir` Ronald Welker of Road Templars died at Gates of Firelight. Lloyd Sanchez of THERAPISTS died at Scattered Grounds. Lillie Barker of CryptKeepers died at Northern Speedway. Justin `Maniac` Miles of CryptKeepers died at Northern Speedway. Stephen Jones of CryptKeepers died at Double Down Arena. Teresa Peters of b52s died at Northern Farm Land. Ryan `The Lion` Davis of Gearjammers died at Once Upon a Town. Seth Taylor of Triumph died at Lonesome Highway. Michael Schmeling of Monkey Wrenches died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Mark `Bulls Eye` Reid of TeaBaggerz died at Gates of Somerset. Dorothy White of Revelations died at Road to Elmsfield. Martha Morehead of Cestus Dei died at Pathway to Darkness. James Moore of Hot Trax died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1. Jamie Summers of Triumph died at The Pit. David `The Butcher` George of Critical Mach died at Northern Farm Land. Thomas `Trapper` Thornton of Dust Trolls died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 2. Randy `Pan` Cook of Dust Trolls died at Road to Elmsfield. `Sans Alamo` Antonio Vincent of rebelfishes died at Gates of Elmsfield. Ruth `Doc` Griffey of rebelfishes died at Gates of Elmsfield. Tyrone `Tommy` Nielson of rebelfishes died at Gates of Elmsfield. Robert `Big` Johnson of -=[Death Dealers]=- died at Gates of Somerset. Richard Avent of Triumph died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. James Davis of French Foreign Legion died at Road to Somerset. Bill Sullivan of Abysmal Horrors died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Malcolm Shaw of the mad mad crushers died at Highway to Hell. Nicole `gone` Wilder of The Pikers died at Road to Elmsfield. Mark Johnston of Monkey Wrenches died at Gates of Somerset. Dick `S.` Harry of Renshai died at Road to Somerset. Jacklyn `Bada Boom` Samuels of Renshai died at Road to Somerset. `Judge` Morgan Gates of Arbiters died at Somerset Rally Circuit. James `The Hawk` Fairfax of an0maly died at Somerset Arena. `Sir` Stanley Hall of Road Templars died at Gates of Somerset. Melissa Joyner of Nightmares Edge died at Gates of Somerset. Scott Blevins of Triumph died at Road to Somerset. Barbie `Boom-Boom` Saddler of The Meese died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Greg Eason of rebelfishes died at Road to Somerset. Charlotte Anson of Abysmal Horrors died at Pathway to Darkness. `Zooming` Zoe Neveu of Racingspiders died at Telegraph Road. Bruce `Emperor` Gonzalez of Abysmal Horrors died at Gates of Elmsfield. Nancy `Rotten Egg` Easterling of Bastille the Raging Scavenger died at Lost Trail: Dead River. `Swift` Shawn Frantz of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. Tabitha Ito of The Wolfhounds died at Lost Oasis. Jonathan Craig of Company of Geeks died at Gates of Somerset. Cedric Shank of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. `Cowardly` Howard Lee of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. Joseph `Valentines` Hart of Whiskey Runners died at Northern Farm Land. Steve Rowley of low ridaz died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Teresa Nugent of The Vermin died at Lonesome Highway. Joan `Ricochet` Square of The Vermin died at Lonesome Highway. Shirleen `Zero` Morgan of The Vermin died at Lonesome Highway. Mark Hamilton of The Vermin died at Lonesome Highway. Paul `Spanky` Wellman of Bullet Catchers Anomymous died at Road to Somerset. Herbert Perryman of Nightmares Edge died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Herman Evangelista of Rollovers died at Under a Bloody Red Sky. Ernest Wallace of Racingspiders died at Northern Farm Land. Adelaide Glaser of SofaKingBaaad died at Gates of Somerset. John Sena of Luckies Crew died at Somerset Arena. Virginia `Brazo` Scruggs of Phu Q Crew died at Lost Oasis. William Hancock of Phu Q Crew died at Lost Oasis. Robert Adams of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. Helen Titus of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. Michael Freitas of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. `Swift` Marlon Lopez of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. Bradley Cooper of Company of Geeks died at Forever Yellow Skies. Robert Major of The Vermin died at Road to Somerset. `Hairy` Jay Carey of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. Tim `Ein` Stein of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. Bessie Giles of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. `Camp` Ronald Campos of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. `Number 5` Stefanie Johnson of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. Jacob Elzey of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. Karl Jenks of Company of Geeks died at Scattered Grounds. `Le driver` Lon Demaree of Comanche died at Lost Oasis. William Robinson of Bullet Catchers Anomymous died at Lost Oasis. Cody `Bandit` Kopecky of Bullet Catchers Anomymous died at Lost Oasis. Jane Nichols of nomad mercs died at Gates of Somerset. Julio Fleming of nomad mercs died at Gates of Somerset. `I Dream Of` Jeanne Astudillo of The Ninja Monkeys died at Gates of Somerset. Lisa Bond of Hessians died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Monica `Fatty` Lemanski of Cestus Dei died at Blown With the Wind. Tommie Gunn of Cestus Dei died at Blown With the Wind. William Weddle of Skids died at Sandy. Brandy Faulkner of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Northern Farm Land. Ronald Tucker of Triumph died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Steven Rogers of The Meese died at Northern Farm Land. Sam Tabor of La Banda del Maki died at Somerset Arena. Maria Millican of La Banda del Maki died at Somerset Arena. Cristobal Corral of Triumph died at Telegraph Road. Calvin Chapin of Triumph died at Telegraph Road. David Prather of Triumph died at Telegraph Road. Charles Callicoat of Triumph died at Telegraph Road. Fred McKnight of Triumph died at Telegraph Road. Tameka `The Hawk` Scott of Comanche died at Highway to Hell. Anthony Schwandt of Comanche died at Highway to Hell. Sarah `The Cugar` Baldwin of Bastille the Raging Scavenger died at Gates of Somerset. `Stud` Raymond Rusch of Crazy Canucks died at Highway to Hell. Esperanza `Sky` Walker of Crazy Canucks died at Highway to Hell. Bridget Whitlock of CryptKeepers died at Pathway to Darkness. Kevin `Big Kev` Lehr of Maxxed Out died at Lost Trail: Dead River. `Gangly` Gus Balogh of The Bloody Beekeepers died at Once Upon a Town. Ed `Asa-hi` Broughton of The Bloody Beekeepers died at Once Upon a Town. `VIP` Sharron Richardson of The Bloody Beekeepers died at Once Upon a Town. `Dirty` Donald Enciso of The Ninja Monkeys died at Gates of Somerset. James Richard of Maxxed Out died at Gates of Somerset. Lori `Lips` Valenzuela of TeaBaggerz died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Anthony Godina of Street Pizza died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Anthony `Shooter` Schuetz of Street Pizza died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Michael `Supervisor` Richards of Dust Trolls died at Gates of Somerset. `Princess?` Janet Borchardt of Blackwatch died at Scattered Grounds. James `Hallelujah` Hall of Blackwatch died at Scattered Grounds. Louis `Cool Hand Lou` Hand of Quiksilver died at Once Upon a Town. Clay Tidwell of Six Pack Heros died at Blown With the Wind. Blanche `Macon` Bacon of Hitmen Trucking Inc died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. `Devil` Robert Angel of Hitmen Trucking Inc died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Daniel `Danny Boy` Fountain of Hitmen Trucking Inc died at Gates of Gateway Truckstop. Brandon `Bomber` Ash of Death Storm Militia died at Shantyville. Vanessa Barto of The Vermin died at Somerset Arena. Cassandra `Blue` Skelton of Fifth Legion died at Lost Oasis. Johnie Rhoades of Triumph died at Road to Somerset. `Hawkeye` John Collins of Comstar died at Forever Yellow Skies. Craig Hopping of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Matthew `Ice` Berg of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Gates of Badlands Truckstop. Erika `Hot Pants` Stanley of River City Gamblers died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Bruce Ward of River City Gamblers died at Road to Gateway Truck Stop. Aubrey Cota of Triumph died at Road to Somerset. Emily Bush of Six Pack Heros died at Pathway to Darkness. Angel `of Death` Fuchs of The Underdogs died at Northern Foothills Racetrack (at night). Loretta `Bright-Eyes` Huey of Wasters died at Double Down Arena. Setsuko Swank of Cestus Dei died at Scattered Grounds. Ralph `malph` Craig of 945;8319;G963;? died at Once Upon a Town. `Southeast` Asia Diaz of Bellingham Branch Davidians died at Lonesome Highway. Bobby Luck of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Forever Yellow Skies. Allan `I8ntIllegal` Lopez of Shattered-n-Bloody died at Forever Yellow Skies. Christopher Ott of low ridaz died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 1. `Bang` Clyde Gill of Dust Trolls died at Northern Farm Land. Nick Cash of thebills died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3. Sandra Molino of Fifth Legion died at Somerset`s Junkyard, Race Track 3. Renee Snider of Nightmares Edge died at Blown With the Wind.  This list shows just who has been winning the most lucrative prizes on the circuits and arenas of Evan, during the past month. 1. Bollox Bashers: $796500. |