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Lorry Bomb!!
Anubis Cartel

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Devil Dan is tending bar as usual. Debbie is in town from Texan, and some local mutants and humans are drunkenly fighting over who gets to procure her "services" for the eve.

'Mayday' Ray, leader of the illustrious Anubis Cartel, steps into the bar, along with First Lieutenant Corey 'Holy' Schultz, and many of the Cartel's more elite members. They are freshly back from a foray into the Wilderness, covered in dust such that their beaming smiles seem all that much wider.

Ray et al saddle up to the bar, and call Dan over to order their drinks and share their tale.

"What'll it be, kids?"

'Mayday' says, "Well Dan, I'd like to show you a video recording. The Anubis Cartel has been playing around with bomb lorries, full of fuel cans and flammable items, in order to quickly "remediate" lying new-hires, as well as for our own enjoyment at watching the carnage.

"We built a Lorry with a reinforced ram and a heavy flamethrower front, a pair of rocket launchers on each side, and nitrous and rocket boosters rear, and installed an 8L engine. Two gangers needed "remediation", one from our illustrious operation who'd falsified her application, as well as another from I.C.E. InterCityEscorts, who escorted us as well.

"We loaded the Lorry up with 10 HFT reloads, and 10 reloads, and a few tires for 'protection.'"

Immediately, 'Mayday' starts to break into an evil grin, and a cackle bursts forth. Dan says, "Well that doesn't sound too bad, just sounds like something you'd use to interdict the enemy cars, maybe ram them and get a few shots in before they just overwhelm it and kill your gangers! "

As 'Mayday' tries to recover from his laugh, Dan is waiting with baited breath, ignorant to what could be so funny. Ray finally manages to squeak out, "We also added 164 cans of fuel!"

Dan's jaw drops, knowing that only a few years prior, the Anubis Cartel had an exploding trader Gunboat immediately kill two of their gangers in a mortar Lorry that was nearly 230 meters from the Gunboat, and another two in a Buzzer a bit farther away were engulfed, and immediately rendered unconscious, right outside the gates of Texan.

"So, what happened???"

'Mayday', falling to the floor as his cackle continues to fill the air, motions with his one remaining arm to Corey 'Holy' Schultz to continue the conversation in his stead.

"Well Dan, we were kind of ####ting ourselves. Things were going according to plan, but 'The Flahser' and I got caught a little behind; 'Mayday' has a hopped-up 7L V12 in Hulk to get him away quickly, and he was a little overzealous. So he had to hit the brakes to wait for us to catch up and clear his line of sight, then get moving again. We managed to target and fire at a Da Vinci that was just behind our Lorry, successfully igniting our bomb, but we were still just over 100 meters away when we could tell the bomb was going to blow at any moment."

Dan drops and breaks shot glass he had been wiping with a bar rag.

"Holy cow!! Well, you guys all made it back alive!"

Corey responds, "Yes we did, Dan, and if you want to watch the replay, we managed to record it in high detail. We've uploaded it to Evan's DataHub, and it's at index S933389."
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Posted Feb 6, 2018, 4:54 am
Longos Merry Men
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Frank "####" Roach, Leader of Longo's Merry Men, was recently shown the video in question. As he watched the video, his eyes lit up, and an evil grin came upon his face. He then spoke just one word.. "Splendid!"
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Posted Feb 6, 2018, 6:23 pm

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S1005928 New lorry bomb scout, good times!
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Posted Mar 9, 2020, 3:40 am
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