Blackwill Posted Aug 25, 2013, 1:22 am	Chrome Religion is hereby offering "Divine Indulgences" for those sinners who wish to atone for previous transgressions against the faith. 1) For each Lion Cheetahs gang member head brought to the High Harvest Church in Somerset, your gang will be paid $1000, and all previous sins forgiven. 2) For the head of each senior Awefensive Enterprises gang member, you will receive $1100, and all previous sins forgiven. 3) For the head of each senior Zombie Pirate Ninjas gang member delivered, you will receive $1200, and all previous sins forgiven. 4) For the head of each senior member of the Meles gang delivered, you will receive $1200, and all previous sins forgiven 5) For the head of each senior member of the Blood and Iron gang, you will receive $2000, and all previous sins forgiven. 6) For the head of each senior member of Longos Merry Men delivered, you will receive $5000....and 10 future sins forgiven. 7) For the bleeding, pulsing, cursing head of "John 'Ammo Biatch' Swayze", of Joels Bastards, indulgences of $20,000 will be paid, and you will be forgiven of all previous AND future sins. In addition, every lower level member of this gang, redded out in combat, will net a bounty of $500. More opportunities for indulgences may be added by the church at our leisure. Payment WILL require positive proof of assassination via the PMing of the event ID to our gang. happy hunting.
*Rev. V* Posted Aug 25, 2013, 2:52 am	The nuns of Cestus Dei offer far better "Divine Indulgences".....
*Bastille* Posted Aug 25, 2013, 5:38 am	Yeah, its called herpes.
Joel Autobaun Posted Aug 25, 2013, 5:42 am	"Cheapass" sez John "Ammo Beotch" Swayze
*The X Man* Posted Aug 25, 2013, 5:43 am	And I thought all those red bumps they had were because they were muties!
Blackwill Posted Aug 25, 2013, 2:49 pm	It's all we can afford, Joel We are a not-for-profit institution.
*Jagged Monkey* Posted Aug 25, 2013, 3:31 pm	Hahaha. Awesome.
Necrotech Posted Aug 25, 2013, 6:51 pm	Please... Do come and collect... I'll make ya famous.
*Rev. V* Posted Aug 25, 2013, 6:55 pm	How would your gangers know, Bastille? Your folks never come around to the convent for fun times! (Probably because we don't take payment in chickens or Monopoly money....)
GrowlingBadger Posted Aug 25, 2013, 7:41 pm	Hey now that's not fair, why is Necro's crew worth more than mine? Gonna have to do something about that.
Necrotech Posted Aug 25, 2013, 7:50 pm	Do it the old fashioned way... earn it. Besides.... that bounty is so low that it would more expensive to buy ammo than collect, almost anemic. Perhaps if they would drop an extra on the backside of those bounty numbers... we might actually have more fun with this.
Blackwill Posted Aug 25, 2013, 7:52 pm	Sorry, Badger. "Clerical" error. Get it? Clerical?? Because, you know...ah, never mind...
Blackwill Posted Aug 26, 2013, 1:33 pm	After the CoE 1 in Sarsfield this weekend, we have decided to take Badger up on his request for a bounty increase. As of now, the Church will pay $8,000 for the head of any Meles senior gang member, and $3,000 for the head of any non-senior Meles gang member. Also, in light of their dismal performance in combat in the last event, the bounties on the heads of Lion Cheetahs and Necrotec have been reduced to $4 each...because, you know, we figure you can knock them out pretty easily, and make it up in bulk. And, don't forget to mark your calendars! The Church Bake Sale benefiting Elmsfield's Children's Hospital is this Wednesday! Good food for a good cause!
GrowlingBadger Posted Aug 26, 2013, 2:53 pm	The lengths one has to go to to get a decent bounty...However, I fear Necro may hand me over if only to restore his own bounty! GB
Blackwill Posted Aug 26, 2013, 3:17 pm	That's a great idea, Badger! You guys should resort to in-fighting in an effort to collect these wonderful bounties!! Please?
Necrotech Posted Aug 27, 2013, 3:03 pm	Somewhere in a snow covered tavern..... Keith 'Dangle' Dingle is putting back down another glass of "sacramental" wine. As the glass bottom taps the wood to settle, Keith's eyes widen at the touch of a cold hard metal cylinder slightly behind and above his right ear. He heard no evidence that no one entered, yet that thought did little stop the sweat beginning to pool on his forehead, and the smell of gun oil coming from the well used weapon behind him. A gravelly and menacing voice cut through the air, more chilling than the ice gathered on the windows outside. "Alley does not shoot Alley, False Priest." "The sheer amount of Confessors, Inquistitors, Monks, and your other pederasts we have eliminated from this degenerate, yet feeble, cult should have given you a bit more care in choosing your words." A sharp blast of hot blinding pain brought the floor rushing fast to Keith. After what maybe seemed like an eternity he felt something warm coating his scalp and hair. After reaching back and studying his now red covered fingers, his still slightly blurred vision to focus on the speaker. With some effort he turned his throbbing eyes towards a fairly tall bald man who just came to a crouch before him. While not a physically imposing man, those hard azure eyes matched the icy intensity of the voice which spoke through. That sound alone brought clarity to hazy vision and thought. "There will be no more further discussion of this from any of us. Your weak attempts to bring injury only shows your constant ineptitude and inability. More careless words will only further contempt upon you and hasten all your compatriot's deaths." The man straightened to full height and moved to place a short black brimmed hat one handed, upon his head. He seemed to briefly consider something then faced Keith again. With a hardened toned he voiced a single question. "Say my name" Keith thought this a trick, confused, he wasn't quite sure how to answer that. He blurted and beginning to stand to his feet in now open defiance. "How the hell am I supposed to know?" The man, now done coolly adjusting his hat, replied back. "Of course you do." As he spoke, the man with practice ease, hooked his MP44 into a belt sling, then rolled back the right sleeve on his crisp white shirt, revealing a stylized Red Iron Cross on the underside of his forearm near the elbow. Stamped in black pigment below the cross, a long macabre list containing the names of deceased relatives, former friends, and destroyed allies. As this not so subtle revelation was not lost upon Keith, the rising fear reached it's strong fingers deep into his psyche. "You're.." He stumbled "You're Heisenberg" Sensing sudden movement to the left, began to draw a panicked denial from Keith as he shifted towards the newest motion. Too late to react however, as white hot stars erupted across his vision. That was replaced quickly by the sight of the wooden floor rushing to quickly greet him. Just as a comforting darkness began to cradle Keith, He heard a contemptuous gravel filled wind, loosely disguised as a voice enter his ears. "You're God-damned right."
Blackwill Posted Aug 27, 2013, 4:58 pm	Keith Dingle is roused from his fitfull, drunken slumber by the feeling of a warm, wet trickle on the back of his head. Weakly, he reaches back and gently wipes at the rapidly cooling and congealing liquid..... "Friggin bird poop??", he shouts, suddenly aware that he has, once again, passed out at his usual table in the snow covered courtyard of the Morgan Inn. Apparently, he had been dreaming again...no Blood and Iron gang members would dare show their faces in such a well guarded and, in their case, unfriendly place. They wouldn't make the trip alone, and even if they did, they wouldn't survive to reach the Inn. Stumbling to his feet, he walks back to the Inn proper, mumbling to himself.... "Gotta quit drinking that Morgan Diesel....and who the heck is Heidelburg, anyway??"
*goat starer* Posted Aug 28, 2013, 12:43 am	We don't really know what indulgences are... Sound dangerously capitalist and decadent .. but the SC boys are heading north to join in the fun.
*Rev. V* Posted Aug 28, 2013, 1:27 am	Bring cash, Bastille kinda wrecked it for all Red customers at The Convent....
*StCrispin* ce.services.mh@gmail.com Posted Aug 28, 2013, 9:13 am	Ward raises an eyebrow. Apparently remembering the quarter Million he recently paid out for the deaths of 2 members of Northern Mutant Alliance. "Blood and Iron guys look cute with Heavy Rockets stuck up their bums... We'll pay 25,000 a head for them just to spice things up." "Because we love you" he smiles. "Didn't we TRAIN them?" asks Flaming Fairy Fager as she sips a drink Ward shrugs.
GrowlingBadger Posted Aug 28, 2013, 9:26 am	Not again...
*goat starer* Posted Aug 28, 2013, 10:33 pm	ok.. we are here... who are we supposed to be killing? and why? we need motivation! and since we aint motivated by cash we need reasons!
musashi_san Posted Aug 29, 2013, 12:51 am	poor hygiene! that and a love of disco!
*Bastille* Posted Aug 29, 2013, 5:39 am	*Rev. V* said: Bring cash, Bastille kinda wrecked it for all Red customers at The Convent.... yup, we let everyone know you all have herpes. We didn't bother telling them about the syphilis, that ones obvious
*goat starer* Posted Aug 29, 2013, 7:39 pm	*Rev. V* said: Bring cash, Bastille kinda wrecked it for all Red customers at The Convent.... we don't believe in nuns
*Rev. V* Posted Aug 31, 2013, 1:08 am	Doesn't matter, they believe in YOU!
*goat starer* Posted Aug 31, 2013, 1:11 am	goats
*Rev. V* Posted Aug 31, 2013, 8:11 pm	That's extra....
musashi_san Posted Sep 1, 2013, 1:37 am	been down to tj have we?
*Rev. V* Posted Sep 1, 2013, 8:24 pm	I send some nuns down there on "working vacations" from time to time.....
*Longo* Posted Sep 5, 2013, 10:59 pm	Eddie "Walk on Water" Money, Somerset Lieutenant with The Merry Men walks into the bar and asks Dexter how many bounties have been collected. Dexter just chuckles "there ya go again asking questions you already know the answer to bud."
*goat starer* Posted Sep 5, 2013, 11:25 pm	"no boss... We ain't seen any of them" says the duck, wilting slightly under the marshals gaze. "we have had a squad ready but they are never there" "they can't be scared of the bounties...pitiful as they are... And I don't believe they fear this 'deity'" She pauses lost in thought. "I think I have it... Its almost like they live in another time zone. Bastards must be nocturnal"
Blackwill Posted Sep 6, 2013, 1:02 am	"...you heard that right, Boss...", John 'Puddin Jaw' Jones shouts into the radio transmitter, "...not a single one. Coffers are still as full as you left 'em, and them rascals are still wandering the wastes, pretty as you please, not a hair knocked outta place." "Okay....we'll sell all the junk vehicles, and up the bounties, but I don't think that's gonna do it. We've only seen one hunter the whole time. Seems the rest of these ladies don't want nothin' to do with 'em." "If you say so....all right, all right....have it your way. We'll double them."
*Snipe* Posted Sep 17, 2013, 12:46 am	WHAM! The back door to the Renshai garage has always been in need of repairs, but this time the loud slamming is ignored by Guy Killen as he rushes towards town. Being one of the newest members of the Renshai crew, Guy has learned two things. First, when the boss says to do something - he means now. Second, that being a Renshai was dangerous. He has always been the nervous type, but he has found that his time in the service of the Renshai has made his nervousness double. At least. Eyes darting around, Guy heads straight to the local chapter of the Church of the Chrome Religion. As he sneaks in, he nods to the "priest" standing guard at the door. "Boss sent me to collect that bounty." Guy states, shifting from foot to foot. "Let me inform the Confessor - he will attend to you." The priest bows as he heads through the entry and passes through a set of double doors at the end. Guy takes this chance to get a feel for the Church. All the smells are familiar - oil, sweat, blood and the smell of torches at work - but instead of seeing racks of weapons and rows of cars, like he is used to, he sees what appears to resemble what he has seen in books on how church is supposed to be. Stain glass windows (albeit half broken and half-ass fixed) and strange statues of people Guy has never heard of adorn the entry. At the sound of an opening door, Guy turns towards the sound. Entering is a rough looking guy in a long robe, one arm in a sling with bandages covering his shoulder. "I am 'Confessor' Virgil Pardo - on behalf of the Church of the Chrome Religion and all of Evan I would like to bestow upon you the sacred bounty of $4 and to happily allot you and your gang future 'divine indulgences'" "Erm, boss says that he heard the bounties were doubled. Told me not to come back without the full amount." Guy looks at the ground as he talks. "Ha, doubled they were, very well. We are sorry for any misunderstanding - but any money we can reserve in the holy coffers is that much less that is required from tithings." He reaches into his pocket and hands 8 crumpled bills to Guy. "The Church thanks you for your service and blesses you on future hunts" With that, Virgil turns and heads back through the door at his back. Guy wastes no time in leaving, practically running the whole way back to the garage.